Published on 12, July, 2020
My teenage daughter is awaiting diagnosis of ASD due to a number of different issues.
But one of the problems she has is that she can hear any tiny noise, even noises other people cannot hear, and hates bright light.
The noise issue is the hardest one to help her with as it is small noises that she can hear, so I try to be as quiet as I can and not rattle things or make unneccessary noises, but sometimes small sounds just can't be avoided, like my joints cracking or the sound of a page turning, or a pen on paper. It's impossible to be totally silent.
She does play music or watch tv quite loudly and even likes subtitles on so as not to miss a thing.
She goes to senior school and has to deal with the noises there which she does find overwhelming and so comes home tired and irritable.
I do understand that hearing these noises causes her distress and I wondered how other people who have such sensitive hearing are dealing with this?
Other people's noise bothers me a lot, I cannot bear hearing music, DIY or dogs barking and have had to move home twice for those reasons alone. I also hate it when I'm out walking and cars drive by with thumping bass. Fortunately, where I live now is relatively quiet. Things like the sound of the freezer will only bother me if I'm trying to sleep.
As for light, I can't understand why the default settings on laptops etc. are so bright, surely that would give anybody a headache. I have to set screens to minimum brightness and also adjust the gamma, contrast sliders to a low setting as well, black backgrounds are also preferable. Sunlight outdoors will soon leave my eyes streaming unless I'm wearing shades. Being in a typically lit office or classroom is like spending a day in an MRI scanner (Not that I ever have spent a day inside an MRI scanner but I imagine it would be just as intense).
Thank you for your comments Classic Codger.
It's surprising how no one has really believed me and my daughter about the sensory issues until this year.
But I have been aware of her sensitivites from when she was tiny, and done all I could to help. I even gave up knitting as I realised the noise of the needles would upset her, and she could hear the wool being pulled.
She kept leaving the house for school as late as possible and so was often late, and then I realised she was hoping to miss the noise and crowds at the start of the day, so I spoke to the school and they said they would allow her to arrive 10 minutes later when it is quieter and the other students are already in the room.
She does not have a diagnosis if she is on the spectrum yet, as we are still waiting for results, so I don't know what else the school can do.
The curtains are always shut here, and I have low voltage lights and use the little lamp in preference too, as it casts a soft golden glow rather than a harsh light.
We all have hypersensitivity, of all of our senses. When our senses are being assaulted, either by too much or too many, we go into overload and can meltdown if we can't quickly reduce it. At difficult times, I use either ear defenders or headphones (with music - music is IMPORTANT) to cut out the background noise.
This is the short version of a complex equation.
If I have more than one noise going on, let's say the telly is on and someone is speaking, I don't hear anything other than a combined and overwhelming noise, which quickly builds to an oppressive level.Believe it or not, a single source of loud noise can actually be helpful - there's only one and it drowns out the rest.
It isn't 'noise' as such that is the issue with sudden loud noises, it is the sudden. The pain is real, and physical, and shocking. To give you an analogy, you would experience the same effect if someone unexpectedly crept up behind you and hit you hard with a cricket bat. How angry would YOU be if someone or thing suddenly assaulted you? The angry reaction is perfectly normal, for us.
It is a given that our hypersensitive senses necessarily pick up things that 'normies' don't notice. Hence, we see small things that others don't. We smell smells that others can't detect. We feel irritation from 'normal' clothes (so textures are very important) and too much, or the wrong kind of, light. As for food, well you've got the combined taste/texture thing there...
I keep my curtains closed all of the time to keep the light levels down. I use low power bulbs but often prefer to sit with the light off. I use lamps rather than the main ceiling lights. If I am out, I wear shades a lot. I avoid noisy and/or busy places.
The best thing you can do is listen to your daughter, read and research, and talk to us on here so that you gain an understanding, but the most important thing is that your daughter gains an understanding and identifies those strategies that help her to cope. It is very important that others help her to fulfill those strategies, but they don't necessarily have to know why, just that it's necessary, for instance if she needs a quiet refuge to use at school.
Hope this helps give you a better picture of what goes on for us, it's everything, everwhere, all of the time. Even WE can't predict, so if she behaves one way one time, and the opposite way another time, this, for us, is also normal.
It's all about reducing the sensory inputs, so use whatever she is comfortable with using, to combat whatever the current superirritation is. If she has choices and is made to feel comfortable with using them, so much the better.
Don't forget that ALL teenagers have a 'credibility' button - it not only has to work, it has to look 'cool' in front of her peers. On the other hand, her self-care should be encouraged, teenage is a bad time to be singled out as 'different', but if the difference can be presented as her 'individual style', and she can carry it off, all good! School needs to make allowances for her specific needs and should be overt about being seen to do so. It's an anti disability discrimination issue.
hi Stonechat
Thank you for your reply.
The sounds that bother her most are the sounds she describes as 'sharp' sounds and says they are painful to her ears, so I do my best not to make that sort of noise but sometimes it can't be avoided as it can happen accidentally. Noises like my joints cracking, kettle boiling in the kitchen, rustling sounds, and she can hear very high pitched sounds that can't usually be heard too, which are possibly from something electrical in the house that I can't hear.
I suppose the situation at home makes it difficult for her to wear earplugs as they are randomly occuring noises. She has tried ear plugs at times but said she could still hear the high pitched noises, but it might have been the type she tried.
When she does suddenly get annoyed by a noise she can react quite angrily.
When we have to go on the bus, she now plays music from her phone which helps so she doesn't get bothered by bus noises as much.
I have read too that wearing ear plugs all the time would make things worse as a person then feels more sensitive when they don't.
I heard the same with the light sensitivity too, and I have read that it is suggested to wear sunglasses only when neccessary otherwise the person becomes more sensitive to light at the times when they don't wear them. In fact she is trying to just wear a hat to shade her eyes now. In the house she likes the curtains shut.
Thank you.
Hello JennyRobin
I too have sensory hypersensitivity. The smaller repetetive sounds are the worst and can lead to feeling as though I am are going to 'burst' (only way I can describe it) if the noise doesn't stop or if I cannot get out of ear-shot. Louder more positive sounds can drown out the quiet irritants and focus the mind on something 'positive' again.
I use ear-defenders when my ears become 'over-loaded' - the quiet is a relief. Though I wouldn't wear them for a prolonged time, or everyday. I sometimes use ear-plugs to dumb down sound, for example if it is too high-pitched.
Has your daughter tried ear-defenders or ear plugs?
I am cautious with the amount of time I use them, as I have read that over-use can eventually increase sensitivity to sound, but they work brilliantly in the short term.