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Stranger online

Disordergirl

Hi

I was added to a group on Facebook by a friend who is a parent of an autistic boy and an autism researcher to a nice group about autism with autistic people and their parents around the world and stuff, then I commented on a post on music, which was nice, but then I got a friend request who talks to me a lot that states she's from someone who claims to be an autistic person living in near an American naval base and hates it there due to their noise sensitivity and the fact there is less public transport and all they want to talk about is leaving their country and living in Europe where they believe they can be live in supported living and have better public transport. While it is genuine that autism, disability and public transport services isn't as good in the USA as it is in Europe (when I pointed out that some USA cities have good public transport like NY they just said they didn't like USA cities because they're too big, despite saying to me today that they found London attractive, even though it's bigger and more hectic than some USA cities). I asked them about their autism diagnosis they claimed they were diagnosed at 8 months old (kinda young) and I asked if they had family to help them, but they said their 'too busy for her'. Their profile picture is not a photo of them and little activity happens on their profile, although they do have friends . I know some of the strangeness could be due to their autism. I'm just a bit worried whether this is a genuine account and someone who genuinly wants to leave their country so they can live independently better, or whether it is someone posing as an autistic in order to take advantage of me or immigrate into a European country (they do like the sound of the UK) illegally. Should I message the admin and tell the person I can't help them and they better of talking to someone else. This is stress I could do without at the moment because I have aspergers and I've just earned a 2:1 from a good university and hope to work with autistic people so cutting ties with this person would make me feel guilty, I don't wanna get in any legal trouble, be involved in a situation I shouldn't be or face anything undesirable, I just wanna get a job and move on without any blips

  • You're right, there isn't consistent provision in this country, but I have heard that some other countries take a far less user friendly attitude to autism, often not even believing that the condition really exists.  I have heard that France is not too good in this way.  I don't know about USA - whenever I try to look up any provision it always seems to be the USA that has got what I want, rather than the UK, but the USA is such a large country that there must be a lot of difference between different areas.

  • I think we have enough to do supporting each other in this country, I can't see the need for an international branch. I have no idea what the provision is like in America, and I don't need to know - surely in a country that size there are plenty of quiet, fuss-free places to live. Moving away from a city I can understand, but moving to one?

    I don't think that the other 'social networking' sites are all that appropriate for this kind of discussion and contact, frankly. Someone wanting to 'fake' ASD is clearly working to their own agenda but could pick up some behavioural strategies from us that would enable them to present as ASD to a normie. It wouldn't work long term, it wouldn't work at all with someone who knows what they're doing. However, if we ignore our instinctive reaction and start 'thinking' we are very likely to get it badly wrong. My often bitter experience of ignoring my own 'instinctive reaction', is now that even if it seems wrong to, I mostly go with what my instincts tell me.

    I would have the same missgivings as you given that the information you have is so badly incorrect, although, as you say, an Aspie in a state of fear and confusion is necessarily going to sound like that.

    I'd trust your instinct on this one if I were you. They're already drawing you in, but your instinct says 'this isn't right, and it's already causing you anguish that you don't need. We suffer enough abuse of our vulnerabilities, and this presents to me as one of them. Ask the simple questions of their diagnosis, who did it, what was their conclusion, when was it done, where, and why was this person diagnosed?

    Who, in their right mind, would EVER suggest that it is possible to diagnose an 8 month old? Who posts a fake picture, and for what reason? Whose 'family' is 'too busy' for them? Relationship difficulties, yes, family rejection, yes, but 'too busy'? I share your misgivings, based on what you report here.

    Finally, what can this person possibly know about the difference in provision for Aspies in different countries? It seems to me that we don't have consistent provision in THIS country, so I suspect that we would all give a different answer depending on whereabouts we live. Am I wrong?

  • By the way the only information I've given to this person is what cities are good for public transport and supported living information which is what they asked for. I'm just worried it's going to tip into something else