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what can I do

aspiecharles

Hello. I'm 58yrs old and have Aspergers. I live 300 miles away from my family and only keep in touch with them through Facebook. I have two daughters ,one of who has recently had a baby.(my grandhild). I am very happy about this and would love to see her but this would mean my travelling to her and then staying with family for a few days. I know this should not be a big deal but it terrifies me and I know it would be impossible for me. I can't go along with all the pretense and jolly chat as I know it's not real. Also, all the expectations I amsupposed to live up to. I have recently had a heart bypass op and also suffer from Fibromyalgia and Chronic fatigue syndrome but my family think this is nothing and just ignore the diagnosis. They think it is all in my head and that I'm just "one of those people who think they're ill" I don't think I can cope with the travelling and the emotions involved but I know that I will be judged and condemed again if I don't go.

  • Yes, that does seem like the best thing I can do. I think you could be right about them feeling guilty and turning it back on me.  Thank you for your help.Smile

  • This does sound like an impossible situation, but your family will probably be half-expecting you to turn down the invitation. They obviously had to invite you, they'd feel bad otherwise. Perhaps them not being able to come to terms with your problems makes them feel guilty, so they have to turn it back on you. 

    Maybe you should ask your daughter if she could come and visit you with the baby, but tell her that although you are desperate to see your grandchild, you do understand that it might be difficult for her right now as the baby is so young and that you accept that it might be a while before it happens.