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lifes sucked will it get better?

needwarmfreehugs

hi im james, 29 years old got diagnosed last year, ive struggled from a young age i always new i was diffrent, last year i got dumped by my ex i hve a 4 year old boy with her and we had a nice home but as im aspergers and treat people odd not much effection or understanding of other peoples feelings she decided i drove her to want give up our family for a bloke who used her for sex, so i got dumpd and bond broke with my son, ended up homeless then in a hostel. while in the hostel i was seeing a mental health worker as i was very stressed, and i explained im not like other people im diffrent, and i said all the things i thinks diffrent about me and the thing i said that got her thinking i might have aspergers is, when i go in a cafe or supermarket my hearing goes nuts  can hear so many diffrent sounds and there loud, i get very uncomfy with it and have lashed out before, so this got me a appointment with aspergers people and got my diagnosis. i fort now ive got diagnosed life will get better but ive had no help. people around me still treat me like im a lazy horrible person, i find it hard seeking help and when i do try i come across like im ok because i dont show my pain, i feel so alone and when im on my own at home i go crazy, wish i knew what to do.

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the forum. It is very sad to lose this relationship, but now that you are diagnosed, you can at least learn about asd and perhaps start to cope with life better. If you have internet access, you could start to read about asd. The library will also have books available free and you can usually access the internet in the library.

    The more you learn, the more you will understand yourself, with time.

    There are support services via the NHS, on a patchy basis, and usually provided by the community mental health teams. If you feel depressed or very anxious or stressed, you could talk to your GP, who may refer you on. It varies, depending on where you live.

    I think that you should try and maintain some contact with your son. Once started, this needs to be regular, for his sake. He needs to know who his father is and that you care. Relationships are difficult at the best of times and especially for those with asd. Even if you just take him to the park each week and send birthday and xmas cards and small gifts, this will help both of you. If your ex is reluctant, try and get a formal arrangement. I do not know how you would go about this, but your local citizens advice bureau, findable via the library, will point you in the right direction. Do make it REGULAR contact. Nothing alienates mothers more than their child being disappointed by fathers who don't turn up when they are supposed to.

    You don't mention your parents. Perhaps you should contact one or both of them if you have not been in touch recently. Old relationships can be rekindled and now that you are diagnosed, things may be better than before, if there were problems.

    Do try to reconnect with those who were important to you. (perhaps not the ex). If you feel very down and lonely, there is also the Samaritans, who will listen at any time. People on this forum also have plenty of advice to offer, which I have found a great help.

    Best wishes

Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the forum. It is very sad to lose this relationship, but now that you are diagnosed, you can at least learn about asd and perhaps start to cope with life better. If you have internet access, you could start to read about asd. The library will also have books available free and you can usually access the internet in the library.

    The more you learn, the more you will understand yourself, with time.

    There are support services via the NHS, on a patchy basis, and usually provided by the community mental health teams. If you feel depressed or very anxious or stressed, you could talk to your GP, who may refer you on. It varies, depending on where you live.

    I think that you should try and maintain some contact with your son. Once started, this needs to be regular, for his sake. He needs to know who his father is and that you care. Relationships are difficult at the best of times and especially for those with asd. Even if you just take him to the park each week and send birthday and xmas cards and small gifts, this will help both of you. If your ex is reluctant, try and get a formal arrangement. I do not know how you would go about this, but your local citizens advice bureau, findable via the library, will point you in the right direction. Do make it REGULAR contact. Nothing alienates mothers more than their child being disappointed by fathers who don't turn up when they are supposed to.

    You don't mention your parents. Perhaps you should contact one or both of them if you have not been in touch recently. Old relationships can be rekindled and now that you are diagnosed, things may be better than before, if there were problems.

    Do try to reconnect with those who were important to you. (perhaps not the ex). If you feel very down and lonely, there is also the Samaritans, who will listen at any time. People on this forum also have plenty of advice to offer, which I have found a great help.

    Best wishes

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