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Daydreaming

Bird

Hi

My son is 15 years old, was diagnosed with High Functioning autism. He attends mainstream school with an autism resource base. He is doing well with his studies but he has a daydreaming issue.

He doesn't daydream at school but when he is at home doing homework or revising for tests he daydreams a lot. It also happens when he does other things e.g. brushing his teeth, having a shower, just after waking up etc. Due to daydreaming he usually takes 50 minutes to have a shower and get dressed (if he doesn't daydream much he can do it in 30 minutes).

As a result of this he doesn't have time to do the things that he enjoys or socialise with his friends. It also affects the time he goes to bed. Most of the time he has at least 1 test to revise for and homework. This makes him go to bed at 11:45pm on average. On weekdays he gets up at 7:00am to go to school. This means he only gets about 7 hours of sleep.

Could anyone give us advice to help with this problem please? Many thanks in advance.

Parents

  • It kind of hurt to see the word ‘problem’ there, because daydreaming for me (and from what I’ve read on AS sites and this forum others too) is a great coping mechanism. It’s such a positive thing. Without it I don’t think I could have got through my childhood very well at all. Does your son see it as a problem? Does it bother him?

    I see what you mean about the time thing, as a 37-year old it still takes me forever to get ready in the morning, I still sit and can spend hours daydreaming; but it’s a recovery mechanism for me. Any negative feelings I have from this are mostly guilt that I’m slowing someone ELSE down, and it’s usually because I feel pressure from someone to “hurry up”. That pressure creates a lot of anxiety.

    I’ve found at the times I need to “be quicker” (I need sleep for a big day, I need to be at a class on time, or I need to focus on something with undivided attention) I use things like music to help me. Playing music helps me stay focused on the task. Or listen to podcasts. Or I’ll mentally schedule time in (“If I spend an hour on this, then I’ll take a break and daydream for a bit”).

    What is he daydreaming about? I just put up a post under Adult Autism yesterday called Character Daydreaming. I’m wondering if this is what he’s doing, or if he’s worrying? Is he stimming while he’s daydreaming? Or is it a good thing he’s thinking about for comfort? Or is he just happy and wondering about interests? Or, is he just taking in his surroundings? I generally need more time to process my environment. For example, if we are at a park I’ll tend to stand and stare which seems like daydreaming but I’m actually observing everything (sound of the birds, the trees rustling, the clouds, the flowers, the smell, etc).

Reply

  • It kind of hurt to see the word ‘problem’ there, because daydreaming for me (and from what I’ve read on AS sites and this forum others too) is a great coping mechanism. It’s such a positive thing. Without it I don’t think I could have got through my childhood very well at all. Does your son see it as a problem? Does it bother him?

    I see what you mean about the time thing, as a 37-year old it still takes me forever to get ready in the morning, I still sit and can spend hours daydreaming; but it’s a recovery mechanism for me. Any negative feelings I have from this are mostly guilt that I’m slowing someone ELSE down, and it’s usually because I feel pressure from someone to “hurry up”. That pressure creates a lot of anxiety.

    I’ve found at the times I need to “be quicker” (I need sleep for a big day, I need to be at a class on time, or I need to focus on something with undivided attention) I use things like music to help me. Playing music helps me stay focused on the task. Or listen to podcasts. Or I’ll mentally schedule time in (“If I spend an hour on this, then I’ll take a break and daydream for a bit”).

    What is he daydreaming about? I just put up a post under Adult Autism yesterday called Character Daydreaming. I’m wondering if this is what he’s doing, or if he’s worrying? Is he stimming while he’s daydreaming? Or is it a good thing he’s thinking about for comfort? Or is he just happy and wondering about interests? Or, is he just taking in his surroundings? I generally need more time to process my environment. For example, if we are at a park I’ll tend to stand and stare which seems like daydreaming but I’m actually observing everything (sound of the birds, the trees rustling, the clouds, the flowers, the smell, etc).

Children