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New School Term Anxiety

Crazy Joe

Hello.

I need some help.  My 13 year old aspie son is in trouble in school ...again!  This time for conducting searches for porn on the school network.  I have just had a row with the head of year, because he told me that this has been going on for at least 6 months and it has only just been brought to my, and my sons, attention.  Ergo my son hasn't been getting any sort of instant sanction to teach him that he shouldn't be doing it.  He has a sense that it is wrong, but he has been getting away with it, so - I think - it's wrongness has been becoming undermined by the lack of appropriate and immediate censure.  The year head will decide on what sanctions are required after the weekend.

OK, here's where I need help.  It is slightly unrelated to the current incident, but my boy is already in a heap of trouble with the school because of receiving 15 'concerns' in his first term.  A 'concern' is a note on your record that says you have been a naughty boy - one more and he gets a full day internal exclusion.  The majority of his concerns have been for disorganisation, forgotten homework, missed detentions, innapropriate behaviour (trying to impress peers).  It's just, when I look through the list, a lot of it feels like he is being punished for being on the spectrum.

So, I need to sort this out over the weekend, starting with a letter to the year head & SEN head.  My problem is, I don't know enough about ASD.  Perhaps someone could point me in the right direction with this ...specifically, this thing about starting a new year in school.  In every single school year, from 1 - 9, he has struggled and got into trouble in that first term.  I think the school is failing to acknowledge that there is an AS issue here.  But I don't know what it is called or how common it is or how to phrase it when I write my letter.  I spoke to my counsellor about it a few weeks back and I believe she called it 'integration anxiety', but when I started researching, that seems to be a very different beasty.

OK - I confess to being a bit flustered at the moment.  Big row with head teacher who is uncomromising and also rushing to get my youngest two out to their mums.  Hopefully I am still making sense.  Any pointers would be appreciated.

:)

  • You can check out your + your son's rights via the home pg or the ipsea site.  You also need to learn more about autism.  What support does your son get at school - has he got a teaching assistant?  Are the school autism aware?  Is this school the right place for him?  School can be v difficult for our children, sometimes more so as they get older, hit puberty etc.  The school sounds like they lack understanding relating to how his autism affects him as an individual, so whilst they don't understand about it, they are punishing him for it, mistaking it for "naughtiness".  He will be under a lot of stress at school.  Forgotten homework, missed detentions etc are to do with problems with executive functioning - quite common in autism.  You need to be his champion because you are his dad + the school are treating him badly, they are discriminating against him, even if it is thru their ignorance.