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Help with behaviour problem - inspiration required

UkinSwiss

Hello! mum to a 7 yr old high functioning autistic bundle of joy (most of the time!) little boy.  We have our issues from time to time but for the moment are bumbling along fairly well.  But this week he has returned to his (special) school after the Easter break and his behaviour has taken a new turn - he keeps throwing stones and/or sand.

 Each day there has been some incident - out on a picnic, throwing stones (at other kids and teachers), out in the park,yep - found a stone and chucked it and twice in our garden - big stone chucked it against the neighbours brand new house wall.  Lovely neighbour but even she has her limits.  

So for the most part we are all about reinforcing positive behaviours but this is really tricky as it just seems such an unacceptable/potentially dangerous thing to do (No one hurt yet but only a matter of time.)  Do I discipline him? I mean I obviously give him the cross "do not throw stones" grump but it seems so ineffectual. I actually know that this is a phase and that in 3 or 4 months' time, it will have passed - but this isn't something I can turn a blind eye to for 3 or 4 months - which is my usual style with less obtrusive/dangerous behaviours.        

Inspiration will be most gratefully received.

  • Ive just done a socail story for my boy,hes very violent and always having meltdowns, so i have said im going to go through this story with him twice a day and i am hoping this will work.

    heres the link i done the coping with angry feelings one.

    www.livingwellwithautism.com/.../social_stories-behaviors

  • Hi - have you tried social stories?  there are some good internet resources (i hear) where you can build your own.  maybe a story about a boy who likes to throw stones (including any reasons why it feels good / nice if you know why your son likes it) and what happens - the stone hits someone and hurts them, the stone breaks a fence, the stone dents a car - and how the boy learns not to throw stones.

    Or even better, can you channel the behaviour so that he is "allowed" to throw stones only in a special place which is safe and when there is noone around?  maybe in a corner of a park away from playgrounds.  You could write that into the social story too.  I'm imagining something like...

    "Jack wants to throw stones.  So, Jack goes to the [place]. He checks there are no people or animals near by.  Then he throws stones until he feels like he wants to do something else".

    Pictures help, and associating small details like hair colour of the child in the story to be the same as your son's hair colour too.

    My son is a real rules follower once he understands the rules, but he struggles with understanding consequences or reining in his behaviour in the moment.  Right now we have a lot of jumping on the bed, and falling off the bed and hurting himself.  We might end up doing a story on that one where the little boy has to go to hospital and wait in a long boring queue for a long time. :)

    good luck!

  • Hi again.  Perhaps he would take more notice if the consequence of his actions was brought directly home to him by your or other people's actions.  I was thinking of how he reacted when he had to leave the park.  My son had to be taken away from somewhere for his + other people's safety once.  His reaction was similar to your son's.  So if he picks up a stone to throw then it is clearly explained that he will have to leave wherever he is?  Others such as teachers would also have to keep this consistent.  Hope this suggestion is worth trying Smile

  • not stupid at all. Yes we have explained it to him - but now you mention it the explanation is usually tied up in "the consequence" to the action - eg. Yesterday he threw a stone at the park which narrowly missed another kid (lucky he is not a good shot) so we left the park. yes I did explain that it is dangerous, it could hurt someone but I should have realised that he is so hooked on the consequence - having to leave the park ("go back to The park, go back to the park" on a continuous loop for 10 mins)  that its not a good time to explain. I will try discussing it in a calm moment and totally outside of any incident.  So thanks for that.

    One thing that is against an explanation having a huge effect is that he generally does not understand cause and effect too well on an emotional level - for example I trip over at home and stubb my toe and cry out "OW" and he laughs even though I ask him what must I be feeling and he can accurately answer "that hurt".  

  • Hi, sorry if I'm asking a stupid question, but have you explained to him in some detail why he shdn't throw stones?