Theory of mind

I take your point entirely JDW. Theres little obvious benefit to a lot of NT dialogue. If you can manage without it well and good. My only reservation is that you end up lacking people you can call on for help, especially as you get older (I'm 61 so I know this all too well - I really do have to do everything for myself).

I'm classed as on the mild side (leastways what my diagnosis says is "has developed good coping strategies", but it was suggested to me I was mild) so obviously I cannot say this is a way out for people with more marked ASD. 

However I was getting very depressed and erratic/loopy by my early thirties and was advised and eventually drove myself to get out more (I didn't have a diagnosis until 55 so my problems were deemed "Immaturity/inadequacy"). So I've always forced myself into situations, at least on a formal communication basis - committees particularly, societies, and some sort of social scene.  That way I've got better at some sort of acted out communication. It was assisted though by being in a teaching role, and being a good writer (and not affected by dyslexia).

When I got a diagnosis I was able to refine my complex system of avoidances, narrow pathways, self-made rules, and other baggage by reading up on the subject, and developing workable strategies. That has got round the undermining effects of social gaffs, not fitting in at work and having groups of people trying to get me sacked based on tenuous claims my face didn't fit (which I suffered from almost continuously together with a lot of workplace bullying).

However I still experience a rapid decline between formal situations and informal, and forming close friendships or relationships remains virtually impossible.  So I exist in a strange world where I have lots of outside contact but no close friends.

But at least I experience little depression much better self esteem and confidence, probably on account of trying. I say so reservedly because I might be a lot better off in terms of traits than other poople, so the trying may have been easier for me.

I take your point entirely JDW. Theres little obvious benefit to a lot of NT dialogue. If you can manage without it well and good. My only reservation is that you end up lacking people you can call on for help, especially as you get older (I'm 61 so I know this all too well - I really do have to do everything for myself).

I'm classed as on the mild side (leastways what my diagnosis says is "has developed good coping strategies", but it was suggested to me I was mild) so obviously I cannot say this is a way out for people with more marked ASD. 

However I was getting very depressed and erratic/loopy by my early thirties and was advised and eventually drove myself to get out more (I didn't have a diagnosis until 55 so my problems were deemed "Immaturity/inadequacy"). So I've always forced myself into situations, at least on a formal communication basis - committees particularly, societies, and some sort of social scene.  That way I've got better at some sort of acted out communication. It was assisted though by being in a teaching role, and being a good writer (and not affected by dyslexia).

When I got a diagnosis I was able to refine my complex system of avoidances, narrow pathways, self-made rules, and other baggage by reading up on the subject, and developing workable strategies. That has got round the undermining effects of social gaffs, not fitting in at work and having groups of people trying to get me sacked based on tenuous claims my face didn't fit (which I suffered from almost continuously together with a lot of workplace bullying).

However I still experience a rapid decline between formal situations and informal, and forming close friendships or relationships remains virtually impossible.  So I exist in a strange world where I have lots of outside contact but no close friends.

But at least I experience little depression much better self esteem and confidence, probably on account of trying. I say so reservedly because I might be a lot better off in terms of traits than other poople, so the trying may have been easier for me.