I'm told that autists do not have a 'theory of mind' and this is a reason why we get lost in conversations. But what *is* a 'theory of mind' exactly? Would it be possible to develop or learn one?
I'm told that autists do not have a 'theory of mind' and this is a reason why we get lost in conversations. But what *is* a 'theory of mind' exactly? Would it be possible to develop or learn one?
I think it is a good reference for people supporting people on the spectrum to read and I have recommended it to colleagues. Having followed a higher education career I was a disability coordinator for a decade either supporting colleagues to do so or working directly with students on the spectrum, as a learning tutor. Personal experience isn't necessarily a good thing so I try to keep read up, so my perspective is well informed.
The communication issue is two way, which seems to be overlooked. It is what subtext you fail to generate properly as well as what subtext you fail to read. I have found I can "read between the lines" to use that metaphor, to piece together what I'm not picking up. However what I cannot do (certainly not at the same time as listening) is to generate the correct facial expression and nods and acquiescences that are expected. Nor can I judge correct speaking proximity or volume.
That may be what NTs most sense. They cannot identify my lack of comprehension, unless I look blankly or ask for something to be repeated or better explained (which annoys NTs). What they can and do detect is my not making the right changes to facial expression that indicate I'm following. I can fake eye contact by watching mouths, and I've learned to play act a bit to make up most of the expected gestures.
Interestingly this most likely upsets your peer group. Students put my eccentricities down to age, as far as I can tell. The problem is living up to the expectations of your peer group - particularly work colleagues and social circle. Also I find I'm a bit basic - one style serves all - so get disapproval for not appearing to show sufficient respect to someone whio should receive it. This is not ignorance about deference but a tendancy to be fairly rough spoken and not as intellectual as I ought to sound.
The other thing I find is that my concentration on trying to follow conversation is read by others as my being a good listener. The trouble is I experience fade outs when listening, and my concentration is about gap filling and catching up. I have had to learn to nod intelligently through conversations I've not the least comprehension about.
It is worth remembering that most NTs are not necessarily that smart.
I think it is a good reference for people supporting people on the spectrum to read and I have recommended it to colleagues. Having followed a higher education career I was a disability coordinator for a decade either supporting colleagues to do so or working directly with students on the spectrum, as a learning tutor. Personal experience isn't necessarily a good thing so I try to keep read up, so my perspective is well informed.
The communication issue is two way, which seems to be overlooked. It is what subtext you fail to generate properly as well as what subtext you fail to read. I have found I can "read between the lines" to use that metaphor, to piece together what I'm not picking up. However what I cannot do (certainly not at the same time as listening) is to generate the correct facial expression and nods and acquiescences that are expected. Nor can I judge correct speaking proximity or volume.
That may be what NTs most sense. They cannot identify my lack of comprehension, unless I look blankly or ask for something to be repeated or better explained (which annoys NTs). What they can and do detect is my not making the right changes to facial expression that indicate I'm following. I can fake eye contact by watching mouths, and I've learned to play act a bit to make up most of the expected gestures.
Interestingly this most likely upsets your peer group. Students put my eccentricities down to age, as far as I can tell. The problem is living up to the expectations of your peer group - particularly work colleagues and social circle. Also I find I'm a bit basic - one style serves all - so get disapproval for not appearing to show sufficient respect to someone whio should receive it. This is not ignorance about deference but a tendancy to be fairly rough spoken and not as intellectual as I ought to sound.
The other thing I find is that my concentration on trying to follow conversation is read by others as my being a good listener. The trouble is I experience fade outs when listening, and my concentration is about gap filling and catching up. I have had to learn to nod intelligently through conversations I've not the least comprehension about.
It is worth remembering that most NTs are not necessarily that smart.
