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Are people with ASDs more tollerant of other autisic people than NTs are?

Marjorie195

I do sometimes wonder if our personal experience of being misunderstood and misinterpreted, makes us more likely to give someone the benefit of the doubt when we are on the receiving end of communications which appear less than tactful.

Are we any good at spotting others on the spectrum?

For a while, I have been encountering a guy who to me appears unfriendly and prickly. These are critisisms which are sometimes levelled at people with asd. It has occured to me, that he may be on the spectrum, but I do not know if I am wasting my time being polite to someone who does not want to be friendly, or just has difficulty with it.

  • I totally agree With the blowing hot and cold.  I think people around me must wonder where they stand as I can go weeks without contacting someone then text them every night for a week!  I think this is one of the reasons for not having a large circle of friends.  I only have one close friend who is very accepting and tolerant of me.

    I do too have more tolerance of others and my partner/friends will often take negtraits heavier at face value and become cross, irritated or dismissive whereas I will look for a reason and excuse behaviour as I know I have reasons behind my behaviour.  I think this helps as a teacher (one who has a degree in maths and is ICT leader by the way!).

    Why do you suppose people with Aspergers etc are drawn particularly to IT and Maths?

  • I worked in IT in the 70s and my husband did all his working life. I now suspect that I knew/know many people on the spectrum, which is maybe why I did not recognise my problems as so unusual. I think it runs in my family too.

    If autism affects 1% of the population and we drift towards the same types of work, I suppose it is inevitable that we will encounter many like ourselves.

    If you get prickly with others at times, is it because you would rather they left you alone, or would you prefer it if they forgot about past issues and tried again? I have read that women with asd are more sociable than their male counterparts, so is it better to be distantly polite only. I blow hot and cold on the company thing. I have days when I cross over to avoid chatting and days when I seek it out. This causes offence without me even opening my mouth.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Some of my worst confrontations happened before I was diagnosed with other people who I would now recognise as being on the spectrum. One of the worst situations is when two undiagnosed aspies have to deal with each other. Lack of comprehension and give and take on both sides of the encounter can make a sparky interaction. I'm much more tolerant now, although I still make mistakes (as you have seen).

    Now that I have been diagnosed and read a lot of stuff about it I am spotting other people who are on the spectrum. This is a common thing for me as I work in IT!

    There are lots of reasons for people being prickly and I think it is good to learn how to ignore it or at least not let it get to you. This is my next little project for myself.