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The best way to inform others of diagnosis

True self

Hi All,

I wondered if anyone has any advice on the best way to educate others on diagnosis. The reason I ask is that my daughter swims many hours a week and has been struggling getting to know her new coach. She trained 19 hours this week and that is extra and has been extra tired. 

She tried to explain that she was tired but does not always know how to get her point of view across. The coach told her to get out and when she felt singled out was unable to explain herself. We have only received a diagnosis recently and just coming to terms with it. Her coach said she can not act this way even with a label on it. 

He failed to respect that she has ASD and has difficulties. My husband and I have asked for a meeting and I am trying to work out what to say. I feel he is not respecting her difficulties and expects her to be like all the other girls. I am a little unsure how best to advocate in this situation and I want it to constructive.

many thanks for any advice. Xx

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    That degree of dedication is indeed "normal" in the world of performance swimming. In the terms of the majority of NTs it might be considered obsessional. I would suggest that a coach who is driving people to that level of dedication might not be the most NT person you might meet.

    My experience is that I have found it hardest (before I was diagnosed) to communicate with other people on the spectrum (or otherwise off the beaten path of NT). It might be worth suggesting to your children that they might try to think about the coach and where he fits in the psychological spectra. He may have difficulties showing a lot of empathy or otherwise engaging with your children in a non-swimming context.

  • Thank you statof independence for your reply. It is performance swimming and a lot is expected of them. She has the potential to swim at British and possibly international. 

    My daughter does not read him very well and he expects her to come to him With any problems. This she finds difficult and sometimes he does not respect her point of view. My husband and I have had meetings with him to facilitate our son's point of view when he has not been listening to him and this is for a boy who wears his heart on his sleeve.

    Our daughter is very different and does not show a lot of emotion in face or gesture. But is very passionate if people misinterpret her and this gives her a lot of anguish. I have some information from the camhs team so maybe that would be a start.

    regards. X

  • I think most people would have difficulties being expected to train for nearly 3 hours a day! I assume this is on top of school or work? Unless she is training for the olympics it sounds rather excessive to me.

    If he continues giving her grief I would make a complaint (if he is employed by someone else) or find another coach.