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The best way to inform others of diagnosis

True self

Hi All,

I wondered if anyone has any advice on the best way to educate others on diagnosis. The reason I ask is that my daughter swims many hours a week and has been struggling getting to know her new coach. She trained 19 hours this week and that is extra and has been extra tired. 

She tried to explain that she was tired but does not always know how to get her point of view across. The coach told her to get out and when she felt singled out was unable to explain herself. We have only received a diagnosis recently and just coming to terms with it. Her coach said she can not act this way even with a label on it. 

He failed to respect that she has ASD and has difficulties. My husband and I have asked for a meeting and I am trying to work out what to say. I feel he is not respecting her difficulties and expects her to be like all the other girls. I am a little unsure how best to advocate in this situation and I want it to constructive.

many thanks for any advice. Xx

  • I tried to get my point of view across but actually became angry and said I did not like the tone of his email. I am going to copy it but take out names and see what people think as I felt it was horrible.

    Hi (my name)

    I had an incident this morning with (daughters name) where she was not trying at all in the set ( the same set we had done on Thursday) Thursday she was not great either hitting 72-73 seconds and this morning he was hitting 75-76 seconds. She knew why I was asking her to leave the session as soon as I did and only reacted negatively when I asked her not to come in Next week. She did then become combative, I'd hoped for apologetic but not argumentative. I hope you will support my decision here. I do want her in the group and her results are getting better and better but she has to be much more serious, much more consistently. Now would be a great time to learn that. I appreciate that she has had her results from the hospital in the last couple of weeks but that doesn't  change who she is or how she can act just because there is a label on it. I was mostly disappointed this morning because in the gym this week she had come out of her shell and been a lot better in chatting and been pitching things at completely the right level. Some of the pool work had really let her down though especially this morning.

    Thanks

    Coaches name.

    The background was that she trained 19hours last week. This included more gym sessions than usual. She had let me know she was sore and tired. When the coach told her to get out all she said was that other people had only done a few sessions and they were fresher. Also other people were training tired. I think his punishment was extreme especially telling her not to come back for a week. He thinks he knows about autism but does not realise everybody is different on the spectrum and that there should be no behaviour differences.

    we have a meeting tomorrow at 7pm and my husband and daughter will also attend. I am thinking that I would like a member of the committee there to facilitate the meeting. Do I seem a little extreme to be so annoyed. I am her advocate as she is still finding her voice and does not read him.

    thanks for all the advice so far. Don't know what I would do without this website at the moment. Xx

  • Perhaps write up a check list of her difficulties, so that he has some idea. He's clearly clueless. Often times it's pure ignorance on the behalf of the tutor. If you can, keep it to two sides and give him a copy, it might spell it out for him. Include her explaination difficullties etc

    The trouble is, is that this pursuit is likely to be a key interest for her and she doesn't want it to become more challenging or anxiety provoking. It's obvious she's commited. It's not about being lazy as clearly she works hard toward her training, the teacher needs to know that she's not making excuses, but has a genuine limit.

    I hate to hear it when teachers give kids such a hard time. It's so unecessary. I hope you find some resolution. It's hard enough getting to know new tutors without having ignorance thrown in to boot. Keep us posted.