Not sure how to take a joke

Today my  therapist joked at me. I was talking to her about a previous obsession with the actress Kate Winslet and how unfortunately I could not study Winslet at University or I would have done this instead of my History degree. The therapist then said, 'oh, I am sure you can study her these days, there are courses that exist where you can study Winslet'. I thought this was a bit strange, but I believed what she said because I had no reason to believe she was not stating a fact. She did laugh as she said it, bit it was not obvious to me that this was a joke until she said, 'no, I was joking, you cannot study Winslet'.

I feel unsettled and anxious by the fact my therapist told a joke, and I don't know whether she was being nice or whether she was trying to test my reaction? She knows I am autistic, and in fact she specialises in autism.

Should I let her know that these sort of jokes irritate me? The problem is that I am not sure why it bothers me so much and I do not want to be seen as someone without a sense of humour, but I do not understand why people need to 'joke' like this - I did not think it was funny so what was the point?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    It seems to me that you have some considerable control over what you choose to do next. There are a couple of directions you could take matters forward

    1) You could be offended by the failure of the therapist to fully consider your condition before making the joke. You could blame the therapist for this failure. You could be cross with her and your relationship with her could deteriorate. This is a lose-lose scenario in my opinion.

    2) You could understand that she is only human and that she made a poor joke that you didn't understand. You could understand that you are only human and that you don't understand everything. You could ask her to explain the joke so that you can get a better understanding of jokes. You could use the incident as an opportunity to let her learn more about your condition and you could use the situation to learn more about how non-autistic people think. This could be a win-win scenario?

    Choosing to follow the first path might lead to more obsessive thoughts about how bad the siutation is for you whilst the second path may lead to you gaining some understanding and accepting that people (you, me, everyone else) all make mistakes and do things that people find confusing or even offensive at times.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    It seems to me that you have some considerable control over what you choose to do next. There are a couple of directions you could take matters forward

    1) You could be offended by the failure of the therapist to fully consider your condition before making the joke. You could blame the therapist for this failure. You could be cross with her and your relationship with her could deteriorate. This is a lose-lose scenario in my opinion.

    2) You could understand that she is only human and that she made a poor joke that you didn't understand. You could understand that you are only human and that you don't understand everything. You could ask her to explain the joke so that you can get a better understanding of jokes. You could use the incident as an opportunity to let her learn more about your condition and you could use the situation to learn more about how non-autistic people think. This could be a win-win scenario?

    Choosing to follow the first path might lead to more obsessive thoughts about how bad the siutation is for you whilst the second path may lead to you gaining some understanding and accepting that people (you, me, everyone else) all make mistakes and do things that people find confusing or even offensive at times.

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