Not sure how to take a joke

Today my  therapist joked at me. I was talking to her about a previous obsession with the actress Kate Winslet and how unfortunately I could not study Winslet at University or I would have done this instead of my History degree. The therapist then said, 'oh, I am sure you can study her these days, there are courses that exist where you can study Winslet'. I thought this was a bit strange, but I believed what she said because I had no reason to believe she was not stating a fact. She did laugh as she said it, bit it was not obvious to me that this was a joke until she said, 'no, I was joking, you cannot study Winslet'.

I feel unsettled and anxious by the fact my therapist told a joke, and I don't know whether she was being nice or whether she was trying to test my reaction? She knows I am autistic, and in fact she specialises in autism.

Should I let her know that these sort of jokes irritate me? The problem is that I am not sure why it bothers me so much and I do not want to be seen as someone without a sense of humour, but I do not understand why people need to 'joke' like this - I did not think it was funny so what was the point?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Hope,

    These jokes may irritate you but is it reasonable to expect people who talk to you to censor everything that they say in your presence, or to you directly, to ensure that you will understand it? It bothers you because you didn't understand it but it also bothered you because you let it bother you.

    She was making a disparaging remark about modern education. It was intended as a joke and, even though you didn't understand it, you can't stop people from saying things that you don't understand. People can't understand everything that is said to them and you can't expect her to understand everything you say to her.

    Don't be hard on her for failing to only utter things that you understand and don't be hard on yourself for failing to understand everything that is said to you.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Hope,

    These jokes may irritate you but is it reasonable to expect people who talk to you to censor everything that they say in your presence, or to you directly, to ensure that you will understand it? It bothers you because you didn't understand it but it also bothered you because you let it bother you.

    She was making a disparaging remark about modern education. It was intended as a joke and, even though you didn't understand it, you can't stop people from saying things that you don't understand. People can't understand everything that is said to them and you can't expect her to understand everything you say to her.

    Don't be hard on her for failing to only utter things that you understand and don't be hard on yourself for failing to understand everything that is said to you.

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