When I was a child living with undiagnosed Asperger's, I engaged in some behaviour that I am struggling to understand. I have limited insight into what motiviated me at the time, and why I did the things I did. I often run over the events in my mind, trying to rationalise them and think about what they might say about myself as a person (see my other thread about my problems understanding who I am).
I will describe some of the events here - I am interested to know if any other people with AS on this forum can relate to these experiences.
When I was 6 years old, I used to walk around the classroom with my skirt tucked into my tights. In the same year, I took a magnifying glass, walked out of the classroom, and threw it into one of the toilets. When another child told the teacher that a magnifying glass was in one of the toilets, the teacher got the children to sit down on the carpet and asked them who had used the middle toilet. I did not put my hand up so I never got into trouble; it was assumed that someone in year 3 was responsible!
When I was 7 years old, I walked round the classroom pretending to be a train, and I tried to get the other kids to form a line behind me and be the carriages.
Age 8, I would wet myself in class in order to get a reaction from the other kids. I would wet myself while sitting down at my desk, and the other kids would go 'urggggg', and this made me laugh!
I would pull my skirt up really high while sitting down, showing off my knickers, and the teacher would tell me to cover myself up. I am not sure why I did this?
I would go up to random people in the street and say things like, 'would you like some chicken?'. I was amused by their reaction to my random question, and I would run off in fits of laughter. This was a game I used to play, and I also used to touch people's hair on buses and enjoyed witnessing their reaction.
Sometimes I would partially strip naked in front of passing cars!! I did this until I was about 12 years old, but not when I was with my parents, so I never got told off for this inappropriate behaviour.
I once copied the exact way a girl pouted her lips at school. I remember sitting on the carpet in year three while sticking my bottom lip out, after having seen a girl do this during school assembly.
In the playground I would sometimes scream at the top of my lungs while near the teachers, and I would run right through other children's play, with my arms outstreched.
In year 2, I remember repeatedly pinching a girl's legs while sitting on the carpet during story time. I was later friends with this girl, but the friendship was inconsistent. I would only be friends with her for a couple of days at a time - if she played with anyone else, the friendship was over.
At secondary school, I once told the class that hair on my hair-brush was pubic hair, which was not true!. Again, I liked to see their reaction. I also pulled my knickers down when I was with a group of girls, and their reaction made me laugh.
I am aware that the above makes me seem really strange and weird. As a 27 year old, I am completely different on many levels to how I was back then, but I have no sense of self. I am wondering how the past and present connect, and what my past behaviour might say about my personality and how I coped with things?
