Advice please -Celebration dinner

Very pleased to hear it went well - sounds like it was a first rate event.

Thank you all for your comments and advice.

The Celebration dinner went well last night. I kept myself task focused so I knew what was happening and when. I remembered my role and managed to find space to be alone when needed. I even had a couple of conversations and may have convinced 2 people to volunteer with us and start training.

Thanks again for the advice.

T

Just wanted to say good luck! 

If you find it intimidating, you are not alone. Most people I know (even the extroverted NT's) would rather run naked down Oxford street than speak in public. 

So give yourself a pat on the back for giving enough of a s**t to be there! Most folk cannot be bothered even to drop a few pennies in a tin, let alone care enough to volunteer with a charity. Keep that vision in mind!

BTW I also avoided my graduation ;-)

I would just try your best, but be kind to yourself. It is not your fault that you struggle with social skills no more than it is a blind person's fault that they can't see what is in front of them. In a sense you are pushing your self to your limits with this function, and it is good to challenge your self - these things can help you to grow as  person.

I like R Socks suggestion (on another thread) of treating things a bit like a game and having a playful attitude to life's events. It is important not to lose your self integrity and respect so try and be yourself as much as possible, while doing what is expected of you.  You are entitled to ask for a breather if things get too much!

Thank you alll for the advice. It is very helpful.

Atypical Thanks for the conversation tips. One person who I work with knows I have Aspergers, I will let her know that if I disappear it's because I need some space and where she she can find me if needed.

outraged I like the idea of role-playing, I think this will certainly help with finding a way to feel comfortable.

longman thanks, respite is a good idea, there are people around who can take over tasks from me. So I will delegate a couple of things and find a room I can disappear to for short periods.

Thanks again

Hopefully it will all go well on the night. Sometimes when you are the organiser of something the adrenalin will be enough to get you through.

I agree rolepay - acting the part is the answer, if you've time to develop the skill and try it out on lesser events. You could over play the role.

What might work better, at short notice, is to organise yourself some respite periods. Do the main tasks, then talk to just one or two people, or get some private time in a side room, then move back in for the next bit. Even NTs can get wear and tear being the life and soul all the time.

There may be some excuse you can make, like you need to check the arrangements in a side room. Maybe if you have some close associates they'll help you get this down time.

If I have to attend a busy function sometimes I just volunteer to clear tables, do some washing up, or re-arrange furniture, just to give me time away from the action. That might not be so easy for you as the organiser, but there may be ways you can give yourself some room to breath.

Good luck on the night. 

It costs a bit of effort, but I find it possible (on occasion) to function officially as if I were NT by role-playing the idealised holder of the office.

If you are a quick reader, you might want to order Don Gabor's 'How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends'. You might be able to get it tomorrow if you order off Amazon now.

Do people you work with know you have aspergers?  Is there anyone you trust who can tell you what to expect and help you on the night? Someone you can trust might be able to help by introducing you to people and prompting you with topics of conversation. If you don't want to tell them you have aspergers you could just say you are nervous in situations like that.  Or do you have a partner or friend you can take?

I see you like art: maybe you could ask people what they think of any pictures that are on the walls?

Maybe you could ask people what they like about your organization?

Try and find out if you will have to speak: if so make sure you have something prepared. I think it's best to have the main points written down, not a word-for-word script. Try not to use it, but then you have something to look at if you forget what you wanted to say.

And if it gets too much, hide in the loo for a bit! (or corridor, or outside space...)

I'm sure you will be fine! You wouldn't be in the job and you wouldn't have been invited to the event if you didn't have reasonable social skills.