My relationship with my interests is as important, if not more so, than my relationship to people. There have been periods in my life when I have pursued my interests with intense focus and passion, and I have defined myself by them. But sadly, my life circumstances have been such that, on more than one occasion, I have had to set my interests aside and move on. To the extent that I feel bereft. It is too painful for me to dabble in something if I cannot pursue it wholeheartedly. This has left me with a real sense of grief, much like ending a relationship or losing someone. I am currently between interests in much the same way that someone might be between relationships. This has left a tangible gap in my life. I often have this amorphous feeling that I need to do something, totally engage myself in solving some kind of complex tacit puzzle. And yet I have a real fear around allowing myself to fully engage in any particular interest. As if I am protecting myself from the inevitable burnout and failure that will occur if I do.
I am interested in whether anyone here has had a similar experience.
