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Does Christmas affect your mental health badly?

B

If this time of year sends you into a downward spiral, as it does me, are there ways that you have learnt to cope with it?

As always, I find myself thinking about it much earlier than I would like to because of the stuff in the shops everywhere and of course, threads on this forum.

Some aspects of Christmas that get me down (and some that no longer apply so much).

1.  I am not Christian and as such, I don't see any meaning in it or a reason to celebrate it.

2.  The obligation to buy presents when you have little money is very deeply anxiety inducing.

3.  The obligation to spend time with people you may not even like is also deeply anxiety inducing.

4.  The obligation to be in noisy environments (see above for what it does).

5.  The expectation that you will enjoy it.

6.  The loneliness and isolation it can accentuate if you are obliged to spend it alone.

Add onto the above that Christmas was a terrible time when I was younger (especially as a child when I had to live with my parents) as my mother went into a deep depression every year and there were flaming rows at home.  It was a deeply miserable time and the onset of the 'season' is a trigger for all that unhappiness.

People say that Christmas is 'for' children but what if you never had children or a good childhood?

Obligations are every present.

Can you break with the obligations - yes but there may well be repercussions from other people.

I never really properly managed to draw back from entertaining or being entertained until various members of my family passed away.

I still have a couple of small Christmas traditions with my husband and friends.

I'm thinking this year of trying to pretend it's not happening and just doing the bare minimum including giving away my Christmas decorations which I mainly just put out because of obligation (again).

Any thoughts on how we can take back control of this time of year if we dislike/hate it?

Any thoughts on how we can make it more meaningful (pagans welcome)?

Parents

  • I can emphasise. I’ve had a horrible time over Christmas but luckily I do not have to deal with it at present as I am currently studying in Asia. I spent the Christmases before that alone and whilst I don’t mind being alone it has always been a particularly hard time- I had health issues so couldn’t really do anything fun alone and it’s a holiday so that is usually when I have the chance to see or speak to friends but of course everyone is busy. I also find the shops closing extremely anxiety inducing as it changes my routine and I worry about not having what I need etc. The weather also tends to be terrible so doing something outdoors alone is also not the best. Spending Christmas with others is super stressful as well- I have so many digestive issues and eating socially is stressful as is having to see lots of people etc. A few years ago I was meant to spend Christmas at my uncle’s and my stepdad was meant to join too. In fact he came all the way to Germany to help me move and to spend Christmas together. Then as I was checking arrangements with my uncle on 23rd December he said I was invited but my stepdad was not. So I decided not to go and ended up having to cook for my stepdad for the 3 days which was super stressful though we did have a good time in the end. Growing up my mum stepdad and I escaped to the Alps to ski for Christmas, which was great. We would not make a big fuss and just eat in the family run hotel restaurant like most nights and everyone would get what they wanted (they even had pizza). We also exchanged presents but it was all a fun experience. Nothing beats St Nicholas though in my opinion. It’s a big tradition in Luxembourg and was such a magical day growing up. 

    I understand a lot of the Christmas related challenges you describe. My dream has always been to go off hiking over Christmas in a warmer location and hopefully I will get to do that once my joints recover. It’s interesting though that after 2 years in Asia and 2 years with absolutely no Christmas whatsoever and not even time off, I am almost starting to miss some of the buildup and decorations etc but I might just be very homesick. 

Reply

  • I can emphasise. I’ve had a horrible time over Christmas but luckily I do not have to deal with it at present as I am currently studying in Asia. I spent the Christmases before that alone and whilst I don’t mind being alone it has always been a particularly hard time- I had health issues so couldn’t really do anything fun alone and it’s a holiday so that is usually when I have the chance to see or speak to friends but of course everyone is busy. I also find the shops closing extremely anxiety inducing as it changes my routine and I worry about not having what I need etc. The weather also tends to be terrible so doing something outdoors alone is also not the best. Spending Christmas with others is super stressful as well- I have so many digestive issues and eating socially is stressful as is having to see lots of people etc. A few years ago I was meant to spend Christmas at my uncle’s and my stepdad was meant to join too. In fact he came all the way to Germany to help me move and to spend Christmas together. Then as I was checking arrangements with my uncle on 23rd December he said I was invited but my stepdad was not. So I decided not to go and ended up having to cook for my stepdad for the 3 days which was super stressful though we did have a good time in the end. Growing up my mum stepdad and I escaped to the Alps to ski for Christmas, which was great. We would not make a big fuss and just eat in the family run hotel restaurant like most nights and everyone would get what they wanted (they even had pizza). We also exchanged presents but it was all a fun experience. Nothing beats St Nicholas though in my opinion. It’s a big tradition in Luxembourg and was such a magical day growing up. 

    I understand a lot of the Christmas related challenges you describe. My dream has always been to go off hiking over Christmas in a warmer location and hopefully I will get to do that once my joints recover. It’s interesting though that after 2 years in Asia and 2 years with absolutely no Christmas whatsoever and not even time off, I am almost starting to miss some of the buildup and decorations etc but I might just be very homesick. 

Children