Does Christmas affect your mental health badly?

If this time of year sends you into a downward spiral, as it does me, are there ways that you have learnt to cope with it?

As always, I find myself thinking about it much earlier than I would like to because of the stuff in the shops everywhere and of course, threads on this forum.

Some aspects of Christmas that get me down (and some that no longer apply so much).

1.  I am not Christian and as such, I don't see any meaning in it or a reason to celebrate it.

2.  The obligation to buy presents when you have little money is very deeply anxiety inducing.

3.  The obligation to spend time with people you may not even like is also deeply anxiety inducing.

4.  The obligation to be in noisy environments (see above for what it does).

5.  The expectation that you will enjoy it.

6.  The loneliness and isolation it can accentuate if you are obliged to spend it alone.

Add onto the above that Christmas was a terrible time when I was younger (especially as a child when I had to live with my parents) as my mother went into a deep depression every year and there were flaming rows at home.  It was a deeply miserable time and the onset of the 'season' is a trigger for all that unhappiness.

People say that Christmas is 'for' children but what if you never had children or a good childhood?

Obligations are every present.

Can you break with the obligations - yes but there may well be repercussions from other people.

I never really properly managed to draw back from entertaining or being entertained until various members of my family passed away.

I still have a couple of small Christmas traditions with my husband and friends.

I'm thinking this year of trying to pretend it's not happening and just doing the bare minimum including giving away my Christmas decorations which I mainly just put out because of obligation (again).

Any thoughts on how we can take back control of this time of year if we dislike/hate it?

Any thoughts on how we can make it more meaningful (pagans welcome)?

Parents
  • Not really, no.

    Although granted we've cut back on the family we visit, as our the wider families values had begun to drift away from its roots, so this had caused increasing tension, which was not exactly fun for two of us.

    Around the cousins table there were mismatched personalities (several people very loud/extroverted/banter-y/competitive, one person the exact opposite - being so introverted that they could barely get a word in (me). In other words, a definite 'in-group' which had developed slowly over time, or so it felt. My counsellor has suggested this may be my own shame too playing a role (i.e: shrinking back, which I'm looking forward to exploring in a little more depth over the coming weeks and months. Don't feel resentful towards then, just did the adult thing and quietly stepped away (I'm confident that they are far considerate towards them than they are towards me)  

    Looking forward to having two days of feasting on food planned by myself. and watching Elf/Home Alone again with my close family, having a nice chilled out, low key Christmas. We haven't tended to do presents, and that suits us just fine. 

    I fully understand Christmas isn't easy for everyone, but some of the negativity on this thread is quite off-putting. I wouldn't say that I've ever personally struggled with the basic idea of obligations surrounding Christmas (nor social obligations generally), as I'm definitely on the much milder end of ASD. 

    Although granted in church as a 5 year old saying 'there's no such thing as Santa Claus to a vicar' when I was asked what Santa bought me for Christmas. I certainly never believed in Santa, but Christmas was always far more than that for me.

Reply
  • Not really, no.

    Although granted we've cut back on the family we visit, as our the wider families values had begun to drift away from its roots, so this had caused increasing tension, which was not exactly fun for two of us.

    Around the cousins table there were mismatched personalities (several people very loud/extroverted/banter-y/competitive, one person the exact opposite - being so introverted that they could barely get a word in (me). In other words, a definite 'in-group' which had developed slowly over time, or so it felt. My counsellor has suggested this may be my own shame too playing a role (i.e: shrinking back, which I'm looking forward to exploring in a little more depth over the coming weeks and months. Don't feel resentful towards then, just did the adult thing and quietly stepped away (I'm confident that they are far considerate towards them than they are towards me)  

    Looking forward to having two days of feasting on food planned by myself. and watching Elf/Home Alone again with my close family, having a nice chilled out, low key Christmas. We haven't tended to do presents, and that suits us just fine. 

    I fully understand Christmas isn't easy for everyone, but some of the negativity on this thread is quite off-putting. I wouldn't say that I've ever personally struggled with the basic idea of obligations surrounding Christmas (nor social obligations generally), as I'm definitely on the much milder end of ASD. 

    Although granted in church as a 5 year old saying 'there's no such thing as Santa Claus to a vicar' when I was asked what Santa bought me for Christmas. I certainly never believed in Santa, but Christmas was always far more than that for me.

Children
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