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Hoarding update.

Roy

I wrote a couple of months ago ago about my mothers hoarding, a particular concern was the stairs being dangerous. My mother refused to accept the problem, last night at midnight she took a tumble down the stairs, she wouldn’t go to the hospital as she knows best. An ambulance has now taken her as she has a suspected broken leg that’s cold to touch. She wouldn’t take any bed clothes as she is confident she will be home later. My sister has accompanied her and was already staying with her last night.

I wasn’t informed of any of this until this evening as my family haven’t spoken to me for two weeks, I told them I couldn’t attend my mothers 80th birthday party due to there being too many people. The answer my mother gave back was that I was being miserable and these guests aren’t people they are family, I’ve tried to explain how autism affects me, but there’s always an answer that causes me guilt. The normal reply is, “but I’m your mother.”  Do family think they have some sort of license to just be abusive?

Parents
  • Roy said:
    Do family think they have some sort of license to just be abusive?

    Remember that autism is suspected to be highly hereditary so there is a high chance your mother and other family members may also be on the spectrum and have a number of troubles with healthy social interactions. 

    These may be different to your experiences due to the spectrum nature of autism but it may be more helpful to feel sorry for them than to think that they are being deliberately a bunch of cockwombles.

  • in reply to Iain
    Roy said:
    Do family think they have some sort of license to just be abusive?

    Some members of some families, yes. I have a couple of those in my family, both NTs. I don't engage with them now. Respect is the minimum I deserve as a fellow human, let alone as kin. 

    I wish you well, Roy, as ever. I hope your mum's leg gets better and that she treats you better.

Reply
  • in reply to Iain
    Roy said:
    Do family think they have some sort of license to just be abusive?

    Some members of some families, yes. I have a couple of those in my family, both NTs. I don't engage with them now. Respect is the minimum I deserve as a fellow human, let alone as kin. 

    I wish you well, Roy, as ever. I hope your mum's leg gets better and that she treats you better.

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