Christmas!

How does anyone cope with Christmas and New Year social expectations?  Although I have very few friends, there's the obligation to buy presents which seems to have become swapping boxes of chocolates, chocolate biscuits or bottles of something.  Not forgetting the 'unwanted/unneeded' gifts.  Christmas cards to people you don't 'know'.

Fortunately (or not) we don't have any extended family who we feel obliged to invite for Christmas dinner - just as well as cooking is just not my thing!!

Now, I face a dilemma - hubs is a social animal which goes against the grain of us AuDHD'ers.  Another, sort of, fortunate thing is that we have a 'holiday lodge' on an Isle of Wight holiday park, so we leg it down there.  Yes, parties, but somehow the 'friends' we have down there are few and far between, plus they're not neighbours and seldom see them, so when I make a complete idiot of myself it's not as bad as being at home.  I cope by having too many bevvies and spending all my time on the dance floor.  I know they think I'm crazy down there, so being crazy and old kinda lets me get away with it - well that's what I keep trying to tell myself!

What do you do?

XX

Parents
  • It’s a strange time of year for me. I work in a bookshop and it’s our busiest time, plus I only get two days off over Christmas itself. This year Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. So it’s very tiring and I’m always on the edge of burnout. 

    My parents died some years ago and my closest family are abroad but I have Christmas dinner with a friend and her family. It’s small and not too overwhelming.

    When I was a child I found the Christmas season hugely overstimulating and overwhelming. Then in my late teens and university years I enjoyed it. Yes I was using alcohol as a social tool but I was in familiar environments with the same people at every party and I felt pretty secure and comfortable.

    Then everyone went their separate ways and I haven’t had that kind of social structure since. For many years I just ignored Christmas but now I have a tree and listen to lots of Christmas music and watch Christmas films and TV. My favourite is the Box of Delights. 

    I have my own rented flat now and this is my first Christmas here. I would like to invite some people over but get anxious about being too tired from work and I don’t actually know many people. So probably I won’t do anything.

  • Wow, your own place, exciting!  There are so many people in a similar situation.  We invite one or two 'on their owns' to spend Christmas dinner with us.  I've just looked up "invite lonely person for christmas" - have a look, there's so many people out there who would be grateful, and you'll also gain.  If you live in a flat complex, perhaps send a Christmas card to any others that you identify with.

    They don't have to stay long and doubt they would expect a load of food, perhaps look up some charities and explain the situation to them.

    If all else fails, you are welcome to spend Christmas with us!

    XX

Reply
  • Wow, your own place, exciting!  There are so many people in a similar situation.  We invite one or two 'on their owns' to spend Christmas dinner with us.  I've just looked up "invite lonely person for christmas" - have a look, there's so many people out there who would be grateful, and you'll also gain.  If you live in a flat complex, perhaps send a Christmas card to any others that you identify with.

    They don't have to stay long and doubt they would expect a load of food, perhaps look up some charities and explain the situation to them.

    If all else fails, you are welcome to spend Christmas with us!

    XX

Children
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