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Hi All - New Here

SalientBeing

Hello,

I have come onto hear to seek some guidance as to what a potential 'late diagnosed' might be able to do.

I turned 50 last week but all that time, I've had concerns about not fitting in and not being the "square peg in a world of square holes".

In my school days I was badly bullied. I had problems making friends (I did have 2 or 3 who understood me), but I was ridiculed by many. Jokes and innuendos would by flying round and everyone laughing at them, but I'd be like "What was funny about that".

In later life I've started to have problems with my marriage. I have a beautiful wife and a six year old IVF boy, but there's something causing issues and friction. Examples might include a small argument - I end up going into some form of neuroparalysis where my brain is fully aware of what it wants to say, but I can't physically say it! It's like someone has muted me for a few minutes. I also seek comfort and retreat, even as a 50 year old man, by saying I'm going to bed, but then wrapping myself completely from head to toe tightly in a furry throw.

Does this sound like the behaviour of someone who has fought to reach 50 by trying to mask their traits, but might actually be fighting the spectrum? It's creating untold problems for me now, both mentally and in terms of relationships.

Thanks for any advice in advance.

Parents
  • SalientBeing said:
    Does this sound like the behaviour of someone who has fought to reach 50 by trying to mask their traits, but might actually be fighting the spectrum? It's creating untold problems for me now, both mentally and in terms of relationships.

    It's not really possible to advise you on whether you're autistic. You could take some of the tests and see how you score. If you want to, you can go on from there to seek diagnosis. Some of us never seek diagnosis (for various reasons, including long waiting lists and inability to pay privately) but self-identify instead.

    A number of us are late-diagnosed. I was diagnosed a couple of months ago, in my early 70s, mainly because the huge advances of the last decade have recognised autism in women far more than before. You can find out more advice in the NAS advice and guidance section.

    You're welcome here, whatever you choose to do.

  • in reply to Alexa

    Thank you for your kind response.

    I'll admit that I wasn't seeking a confirmation or anything like that. It was more to see if anyone could relate to any of the points. I've done a couple of online tests before (and scored very highly), but I never like to accept the output of something like these unless there is backing (it's not a scam etc).

    I mean, I've just literally (about 10 minutes ago) had an argument with my wife about her asking me "What do you want for tea" and me replying "Dunno" because I couldn't compute the options (brain flood). I happened to say "What if the cause of this might be some level of autism, as you worked in a nursery and had to work with children like this?" Her response was "Well you'd better learn how to work round it as I have to make all the decisions".

    I asked her how long she'd noticed things like this, and to my surprise (or not), she said "You've always been like this, but it didn't bother me as much in the past as it does now". That makes me worried.

Reply
  • in reply to Alexa

    Thank you for your kind response.

    I'll admit that I wasn't seeking a confirmation or anything like that. It was more to see if anyone could relate to any of the points. I've done a couple of online tests before (and scored very highly), but I never like to accept the output of something like these unless there is backing (it's not a scam etc).

    I mean, I've just literally (about 10 minutes ago) had an argument with my wife about her asking me "What do you want for tea" and me replying "Dunno" because I couldn't compute the options (brain flood). I happened to say "What if the cause of this might be some level of autism, as you worked in a nursery and had to work with children like this?" Her response was "Well you'd better learn how to work round it as I have to make all the decisions".

    I asked her how long she'd noticed things like this, and to my surprise (or not), she said "You've always been like this, but it didn't bother me as much in the past as it does now". That makes me worried.

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