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Diagnosed in late 50s

Gordon-not-Ramsay

I have been recently diagnosed with autism, and have been told to be re-referred for an ADHD assessment.

I'm not sure what I am supposed to do with this info.

Has it clarified things? No

Does it make me happier knowing? No. The opposite in fact.

Does it answer any questions? No. It just creates more!

The main problem i have now is maintaining some connection to my ex-wife. She calls me out on so many things I do while telling me that autism is not an excuse for my behaviour. I want to tell her it is not an excuse but it is a cause. Autism creates situations in which I behave in the wrong way. She sees my behaviour as bad, while I see it as different.

I would type more, but I am getting so frustrated with the tiny text on the screen! I can hardly read what I am typing!

Parents

  • This does resonate with me, because my soon to be ex wife has expressed similar sentiments - that my autism diagnosis is not an excuse for being a poor husband.

    I was diagnosed in my late 40s, and my experience is that it unlocks a lot of questions from your past, where you begin to question things that have happened to you and if Autism was behind it all. I think on one hand, I did get into the trap of saying "I can't do this because it is too difficult because I am autistic", where I should probably say "I can do this, but it is going to be harder because I am autistic and her is how I can make it easier on myself.

    If I were you, I would try and see an autism friendly therapist. It really helped me to unpack the implications of my diagnosis. Some autism diagnosis services will offer this automatically, but unfortunately, like anything to do with autism, it is a postcode lottery.

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  • This does resonate with me, because my soon to be ex wife has expressed similar sentiments - that my autism diagnosis is not an excuse for being a poor husband.

    I was diagnosed in my late 40s, and my experience is that it unlocks a lot of questions from your past, where you begin to question things that have happened to you and if Autism was behind it all. I think on one hand, I did get into the trap of saying "I can't do this because it is too difficult because I am autistic", where I should probably say "I can do this, but it is going to be harder because I am autistic and her is how I can make it easier on myself.

    If I were you, I would try and see an autism friendly therapist. It really helped me to unpack the implications of my diagnosis. Some autism diagnosis services will offer this automatically, but unfortunately, like anything to do with autism, it is a postcode lottery.

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