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Inviting people to parties

beebeepie

Hi there,

So I turned 30 recently, and was scratching my head at what to do for it. I have a twin sister who lives in London whilst I live in Scotland, so we decided we would meet up halfway and did a day trip in York for the day, with a few immediate family to come along. Ended up having a great day, but also I thought maybe I should organise something for people I know closer to home?

So I ended up organising a little gathering for people to come for drinks and to play social darts at a restaurant nearby, mainly people who I know at groups I'm part of, like the gym I regularly go to, a running club, and a few neighbours & colleagues I know personally. I posted on both the running club and gym's online messageboard of the details. What really surprised me was how few people came back to me - like maybe only 2 or 3 people from the run club responded in a few days and only a few people from the gym. Just was so surprised that people who I thought were friends just didn't bother to acknowledge it was my birthday or respond as a 'thanks so much for inviting but I can't make it' when I turned up at run club training the following week, it was so weird? 

The main reasons I kinda thought of for the low turn out I thought was how close the date of the party is to Halloween, and maybe people with kids can't make it because they have plans already. Despite this, I really struggle with the mismatch of people who I thought were friends and the lack of responding to my invitation.

Is it okay to be disappointed at this? Not sure how to go on because I'm not looking forward to hosting the party next weekend.

  • in reply to Alexa

    Like you said I don't really like hosting parties, in the past it would be my sister who would do it but because it is my 30th I thought i'd do it for the sake of everyone else's enjoyment. I decided to choose a venue that I knew well that doesn't play music loudly and isn't completely packed out. Plus I've mainly asked people to come for drinks and to play a game in the hope that it is over quicker? Haha 

  • I learned at a work that parties are difficult. It really depends on your age what people want. Common reasons are music, getting drunk and perhaps finding a sexual partner. People with children have more difficulty, as they have to find a childminder, so it has to be something they really want to do and at a convenient time/place. This is just observation because I've never thrown a party, only had some fun nights with a few friends I knew really well. Like many autistics, parties just horrify me. How do you cope?

    I'd guess that no one wished you a happy birthday because they were afraid you'd ask them why they weren't going to your party. people hate being put on the spot like that, so they will simply avoid it.