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How do you cope?

ChrisRuthPeggy
Alexa kindly suggested starting a thread on coping techniques giving loads of tips and advice.  This is what I posted:

"Anyway, what I want to ask is for information and direction in how to cope with certain situations, activities and such.  Everyday things are challenging - shopping, housework, disorganisation and 'losing' things are a nightmare.  I don't know how to 'join in' on conversations - unable to express myself and, as such often saying the 'wrong' thing; topics of no interest to me ... The thing is that others don't understand how my mind works but, equally I don't understand how other peoples minds work.  Things that make total sense to me leave others confused and things that make total sense to others leave me confused!

I'm a research addict (comes with the territory) and have found some great resources.  I was wondering whether, if it's allowed, I could post some of the things I have found useful which may help others.  Some YouTube stuff and at least one book.  I would be so grateful if anyone could give me some advice on coping."

I've added something I sent to the AuDHD team:

"Living with AuDHD is certainly not easy, but maybe even harder for those around us as they face trying to understand our quirky behaviour!
Since receiving an explanation (through diagnosis) somehow many things now make more sense.  Ooo, people with AuDHD never make any sense (hehe!!)
As I mentioned, my thirst for knowledge drives me into a research frenzy - comes with the territory!  So, I'm sending these links which, as I've found informative, may help others (skip through the ads).  It's so difficult and I would be so grateful to hear how other people manage.
Odd Things Autistic People Do That Others Don't (Top 10)
Autism and ADHD: How to Cope With a Dual Diagnosis | Siri Nelson | TEDxUAlberta
I've also found a book (well, I'll hunt for it as it must be lying around somewhere in the disorganisation of an ADHD household!) : Found it!! "Order from Chaos - the everyday grind of staying organized with Adult ADHD" by Jaclyn Paul which I've been drawing on for tips and tricks to make life easier (and less chaotic).  There's some good stuff in there and I'd highly recommend it.
I would very much benefit from some sort of on-line group (perhaps restricted Facebook or Telegram group) where we 'neurodiverse' people can share stuff - both the sad, good and things that make us giggle!"
So here I am, joining an on-line group - wow!!
Amongst the chaos this is something I turn to (as well as gardening) when the world becomes too much: Hilarious Jack Russell Goes Crazy with Excitement at Crufts 2017!
Thanks

Parents

  • I tried watching the YouTube "Odd Things Autistic People Do That Others Don't (Top 10)". I didn't listen to it all the way through, just his headlines. I'd say most of us have all or most of those, althought we might not have them to the same degree. And especially the last one - the sensory stuff - we're all different about which things we're sensitive to. 

    I thought he'd missed out one that's really important to me until I realised he'd labelled it as "ruminations". I'm used to it as the inability to process conversations at the speed non-autistiuc people do. The lag means I constantly miss cues to ask the right questions (which is a whole other subject!). So, yes, I did used to go back over the conversation and kick myself. I don't do it as much now I know my brain isn't set up to work at that speed. Slight smile

  • in reply to Alexa

    We're all on a spectrum and different.  I just thought it was great how he, as he experienced things, raised stuff that we all face; with a tad of humour.  One of the difficulties he highlighted is how we try to 'rehearse' things, only to find that something arises that we're not prepared for.  What I would like to add is related to others understanding that we have a 'thought delay' where the ADHD comes into action with impulsiveness and the Autism with 'what do I do?'  Yeh, then we beat ourselves up for 'not saying the right thing'.  I would be grateful (if you feel comfortable in doing it) to read an extension on missing cues.

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  • in reply to Alexa

    We're all on a spectrum and different.  I just thought it was great how he, as he experienced things, raised stuff that we all face; with a tad of humour.  One of the difficulties he highlighted is how we try to 'rehearse' things, only to find that something arises that we're not prepared for.  What I would like to add is related to others understanding that we have a 'thought delay' where the ADHD comes into action with impulsiveness and the Autism with 'what do I do?'  Yeh, then we beat ourselves up for 'not saying the right thing'.  I would be grateful (if you feel comfortable in doing it) to read an extension on missing cues.

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