I like to travel. I have a general social anxiety for the world, but I got to 48 and realised I had to see some of the world.
I like breakfast buffets in hotels, or I like the idea of filling up before a day's exploring. I like a nice variety of new foods that I can try, even if most days I'm pretty stale in my variety - same breakfast, same sandwich for lunch etc - it's nice to expand ones horizons and push one out of one's comfort zone. No matter how hard it is.
So, here am I am, right now, in a hotel in Germany, having a breakfast buffet. Talk about sensory nightmare.
The people...they're everywhere. I chose bigger hotels because at least I can not feel singled out, but then all the people are there.
There's no trays. Hey, I have probably dyspraxia too, you know, how am I supposed to balance a plate, a cup of tea and my fork? Yeah, I only have a fork usually. We'll get to that.
How much do I take? How many times can I go back? Will they think I'm greedy? Do I eat like other people?
I don't like using a knife. I use just a fork. Yes, I scoop food on to it with my finger. That's fine at home, but will people think I'm a disgusting oaf? Look at the size of that cutlery. Am I a giant? That knife - okay, I sometimes use it for butter - is bigger than my arm. Why?
Now I have the sniffles because I've eaten. I just get them when I eat anything? I've read it's a reaction to food being ingested. Anyone else get that? Okay, something I just ate irritated my bowels, or is that just the stress of wondering if I'm doing everything right?
But, I've done a fair few breakfasts in hotels now. I should be an expert, but it's still hard every time.
How do others cope?