Navigating that hotel breakfast buffet

Thanks, jimmy , Iain  and TheCatWoman .

I never used to be this bad. I remember doing a 6 week stay in Poland as part of my degree in 1996. I just walked into the hotel bar and ordered drinks back then. No pressure. I was 21.

Everything I said I know sounds obvious. I don't know why I struggle so much. People close to me say I overthink. I know I do. I just don't understand what changed as I got older. Burnout, I guess. My stress and anxiety levels have zoomed massively in the past 10 years.

I'm sitting here eating breakfast in the hotel as I type this. I'm trying so hard to just be myself, ignore the people and just be content, but there I am worrying using my phone is rude now!

The coordination problems have always been there. I read my school reports, found at my parent's, the other day. They were very revealing about my coordination in PE. I had coordination therapy as a child too. I've just sat here and used a fork and a knife, rather than my fingers. It's like trying to balance plates and juggle balls at the same time for me. Why do they make cutlery so darn big?

The allergy issues have definitely got worse for me. I had bad hay fever as a child and was kept in as summer came around. I take allergy meds daily now and find if I skip a day I'll feel awful. My physio has spoken to me of collagen issues in autism, and I've done some research on it. I forget the name of the condition, something to do with autistic people bending more than neurotypicals, but it's a passion project of his. He is autistic too.

I have the usual collection of conditions. IBS, reflux and under active thyroid. Nail dystrophy and dry skin.

My autism assessments will be next month. Lots to discuss.

Meanwhile, I'm going to try and have an enjoyable breakfast.

I'm not a fan of breakfast buffets, there's just to much food and it's overwhelming and loud, I just want black coffee and a couple of pieces of toast.

Germans seem to like a massive breakfast, so I don't think they'd mind you going back for more, especially if you go from savoury to sweet, or cereal then onto other things.

Hi! Below are some direct responses to your qs + some advice based on how I travel

‘how am I supposed to balance a plate, a cup of tea and my fork? How much do I take? How many times can I go back? Will they think I'm greedy? Do I eat like other people?’

I normally go up 2-3 times. First I do my plate, second I do my drinks (coffee, water, juice).  If I’m still hungry I do another sweep. 

‘How much to take?’ Take as much as you want haha, you’ve paid a set price most likely so just eat as much or as little you want. 

‘Will people thing your greedy?’ Firstly who cares? Secondly its very unlikely anyone is paying attention to you. 

‘Do you eat like other people?’ I would say as long as what you’re doing isn’t adversely impacting other people then it shouldn’t really matter how you eat.

Using your finger as your knife – ‘Will people think I'm a disgusting oaf?’ Highly unlikely! Might some people look and think it’s a little odd? Probably.  If you’re trying to blend in then maybe just use a knife or just a fork (no finger lol) for the meal?  Its just 30-60 mins of your day so this shouldn’t be a big ask.  Otherwise just crack on with the finger lol You wont see any of these people again.

Sniffles after eating – Could be you have an intolerance to something or what you’re eating has high levels of histamine.  I sometimes get bad hay fever symptoms if I’ve had certain alcohol (beers, whiskey) and I’m fairly certain it’s the histamine that causes this.

Irritated bowels – You can always get yourself test for intolerances etc so might be worth doing. Stress is a huge factor though so could easily be this. If you don’t experience anything at home/normal environment then likely its stress.

Other comments

Could you stay at an Airbnb instead? I personally like bringing my own coffee when I travel as well just buying something as simple as oats to make porridge/overnight oats and therefore airbnbs are ideal for making my own breakfast each day. You can eat what you want, when you want and how you want! Buffets at hotels usually cost around £20-25 in uk/Europe so they are very expensive for what you get.  I typically only get breakfasts at Hotels if there are no other breakfast options near the hotel.

If you do decide to continue with hotels+buffets then could get yourself some headphones if sounds are an issue? 

Lastly, well done for getting our there and doing some travelling! Its hard having autism and dealing with all the different things that come with travelling.  Good luck with the rest of your trip!

As a veteran of hundreds of business trips and countless hotel stays, here are my thoughts:

nidriks said:

how am I supposed to balance a plate, a cup of tea and my fork?

This one is surprisingly straightforward - get you plate of food first - take it to the table and return for the beverage of choice, return and finally return to pick up cutlery, napkins if needed, a little tub of nutella / butter etc and a fruit juice.

nidriks said:

Yes, I scoop food on to it with my finger. That's fine at home, but will people think I'm a disgusting oaf?

In most cases yes, this is poor etiquette. You have been holding utensils to serve the food, coffee pots etc and have probably picked up various germs along the way, so normal practice it to not touch your food directly unless it is something like a piece of toast where you discard the part you are holding.

Blowing your nose at the table is also an etiquette blunder in many cultures as it is seen as you disgorging quantities of germ filled mucus in public. If you must do it then I suggest you do it a quietly and discreetly as possible and have a small plastic bag on hand to place the used tissue into, then stick this bag into your pocket out of sight.

I believe it is the eating action that "massages" the sinuses and makes them more prone to running. I found that having a hot shower before breakfast worked well to let the steam activate the sinuses so they could be cleared effectively before breakfast, plus it left me smelling clean and fresh for the day.

nidriks said:

How much do I take? How many times can I go back? Will they think I'm greedy? Do I eat like other people?

Personally I like to use the first day to try as many of the foods as practical then on subsequent days reduce my portion size to normal. Overeating is just going to encourage weight gain anyway.

Remember that the fruit juice is probably high in sugar so I keep this a small glass, a normal sized coffee and water if I am still thirsty. Keeping hydrated when travelling is often challenging I find so drinking in the morning when I still can go back to the bathroom in my room is comforting.

I think the only country where I struggled at breakfast was China as it seemed more of an evening meal to me with lots of garlicy fried food and savoury rice as the only options. Most places outside of this have a general "Western" breakfast option - even Scotland that prides itself on frying anything that moves, and anything that stays still is fried until it moves!

Just my thoughts on the subject.