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Autistic Grief

BethB1996

Hiya,

How do you cope with autistic grief/mourning the life you had before you realised you were autistic? A year ago I was working full time and working towards my dream career. I was in that role for seven years and was good at my job.

I suffered autistic burnout and was unable to work for six months. When I returned to work, it was like I was a completely different person, I couldn’t mask as much and felt less resilient. My employer begrudgingly gave me reasonable adjustments but they didn’t feel fully supportive so I left. I now have a part time job with a disability inclusive employer. It is better, but I am making half the amount of what I did. Since changing job I have also moved in with my partner and their parents. I’ve experienced so much change in the last year and not feeling hopeful about the future. My life has gone in a direction I wasn’t planning for.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I need some hope. Can you live a happy and healthy life as an autistic person? I’m so scared about the future, especially the financial side of it.

Parents
  • BethB1996 said:
    Can you live a happy and healthy life as an autistic person?

    The answer is, 'yes!', but it takes time to adjust - as you realize. Without too much detail, I strugged for years to attain the qualifications for my career but then lost it after 'blowing the whistle' and was unable to get back in. I began a campaign which really helped me recover, as I was focussing on understanding what had happened, why, what could be done differently, then using this to help others. This sort of campaigning that begins with awful experiences is a major way people recover their stability over time. Re-focussing really helps - however you do this. It might be on another career, another interest, or a new hobby or lifestyle or moving and 'getting settled in' by getting to know about your new environment. For myself, I find reflection at some distance in time is easier than dwelling on it during the mental trauma.

    You can thus build back the self esteem and confidence you lost. You know this is possible, because you've done it before in gaining the career now lost to you. Live a day at a time, focus on financial recovery - make this process a practical, daily exercise with specific tasks, using your autistic organisational skills and ability to think deeply.

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  • BethB1996 said:
    Can you live a happy and healthy life as an autistic person?

    The answer is, 'yes!', but it takes time to adjust - as you realize. Without too much detail, I strugged for years to attain the qualifications for my career but then lost it after 'blowing the whistle' and was unable to get back in. I began a campaign which really helped me recover, as I was focussing on understanding what had happened, why, what could be done differently, then using this to help others. This sort of campaigning that begins with awful experiences is a major way people recover their stability over time. Re-focussing really helps - however you do this. It might be on another career, another interest, or a new hobby or lifestyle or moving and 'getting settled in' by getting to know about your new environment. For myself, I find reflection at some distance in time is easier than dwelling on it during the mental trauma.

    You can thus build back the self esteem and confidence you lost. You know this is possible, because you've done it before in gaining the career now lost to you. Live a day at a time, focus on financial recovery - make this process a practical, daily exercise with specific tasks, using your autistic organisational skills and ability to think deeply.

Children
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