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Normal Nerves or struggle + Your experiences

QiraSoo

After being unemployed since June (due to a walk-out meltdown), I started my new job this week, and in all honesty I HATE being back at work (then again, who does?) 

I'm really struggling with it after only four days. At 36, I've recently been diagnosed with autism and I'm finding the whole experience quite overwhelming.

I think part of the problem is that there's so much to learn, and I'm already feeling like I'm not capable of doing the job. There are lots of figures, costs and information to take in, and I'm struggling to understand what everything means and how to explain it to other people. I find it difficult to process everything when there's so much information being thrown at me.

Something else that's really knocked my confidence is being asked to put together a presentation. This wasn't something I expected from the job description, and I've found the whole process incredibly difficult. It's not just about creating slides; it's about understanding the information, remembering the figures and then being able to explain everything clearly to other people. The thought of having to present makes me extremely anxious.

I'm now questioning whether I'm even the right person for this job, and I feel awful because I've barely been there a week. I know it's early days, and people keep saying that it takes time to learn a new role, but I'm finding it hard not to feel like I've made a mistake.

I don't want to give up on a job before I've had a proper chance, but I also don't want to spend every day feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I'm worried that things won't get easier, and I'm finding it difficult to tell the difference between normal nerves when starting a new job and struggling because the role might not suit me.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar when starting a new job after being diagnosed with autism? Did things get easier with time, or did you eventually realise that the role wasn't right for you?

I'd really appreciate hearing about other people's experiences, as I'm feeling quite lost at the moment and could do with some reassurance or advice from people who understand.

  • I feel a lot of sudden anxieties when stressors get too much. It’s doesn’t go away ever you just get better at understanding yourself in different situations.

    today i am particularly nervous and affected theres not really anyone to talk to about it so im trying to be calm and measured

    Doubt is something everyone feels although at work nts  seem to have this extra layer of protection. I have felt extreme pressure in office environments to do twice as much work or get things right. This cam still be made to look bad by others - this is how influence works in the workplace.

    I only feel this anxiety when i am set to work for others.

  • I had a good, supported, job eight years ago. However, it was only a Temp role; from Halloween to Christmas 2018. While I enjoyed it, it didn't matter much; during the 2020 madness, when trying to get another job while all others drank the Kool-Aid.

    Ultimately, a regular job no longer cut the mustard for me. I have to find new ways of living, and surviving. Being a Bum with a Degree may seem romantic, but it's only superficial.

  • QiraSoo said:
    Has anyone else experienced anything similar when starting a new job after being diagnosed with autism? Did things get easier with time, or did you eventually realise that the role wasn't right for you?

    That is similar to my case indeed. Time off work due to burnout and clinical depression (a few times now), eventually diagnosed, and back to work (I didn't need to, due to the conditions listed above, but I wanted to).

    For me, it was important to start with a part time job, since I simply can not cope both physically and mentally with more than that. I am very insecure and struggle to listen and understand when I am in real world scenarios.

    Besides the "part time" strategy, I think    gave good advice, and I would only add my example of that.

    • When I started, the focus was on turning my job into a list of tasks I could follow, I took time to think of this list and the order of things.
    • I also did voice notes while or right-after being explained how to do a task (no one thought it was weird luckily).

    In due time, I tried to start getting curious about things in my own way e.g. how many bottles fit here? or where do these items come from? and so forth. I can still panic if I make small mistakes, but I think they value me being upfront and sincere, and certainly trying hard.

    I personally have used no tips from books, as I find that the best tips are found "locally" by thinking it myself, or sometimes reading others here.

    • If I could summarise what I said above, it would be: 1. Part time is useful, 2. Break down and list tasks, 3. Get curious about aspects of the job, and purpose of tasks.
    • Also, try to eat and sleep on time.
    • To your last question: Yes, things get a lot easier with time. I wish you the best.

  • The only thing I can suggest, QiraSoo, is breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable parts and focusing on those before moving forward. Would you be able to put in some hours at home to work in a safe environment? That could be helpful. Also, what about role-playing presentations at home by rehearsing them in front of an imaginary audience? That's the kind of rehearsal method actors use, so it could pay off. I do think it would be helpful to sacrifice some private time in order to help you overcome your current challenges at work. Is there someone at home such as a partner of friend that could assist you in this?

  • Hi QiraSoo.  I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles at work at the moment, but rest assured that you are certainly not alone - I can definitely relate to how you're feeling, and I know that a lot of our other community members will too.

    As you say, it is early days at your job, but still, it might be worth thinking about any support and/or reasonable adjustments that you may be able to ask for from your employer.  NAS has some guidance pages on the topic that may be helpful to you:

    Deciding whether to tell employers you are autistic

    What support can I get at work as an autistic person?

    What are reasonable adjustments and when can they be requested?

    I hope that these links are helpful to you, and I am wishing you all the very best and easier days ahead.

    - Nicola Mod