I have been going through depression mainly due to my current job not working out for me. Also, I am in the process of doing something about it (looking elsewhere, doing side hustles and seeking therapy and employment advice). I have also gone back to sertraline because I feel very low.
I have been talking to a friend I met online about how I feel, like myself he has autism and ADHD (for context, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD in February this year). I have mentioned that I don't use medication normally, it isn't because I judge others for using it - usually I try not to rely on tablets unless it is a last resort. We normally talk a lot but I noticed something off so wanted to ask if everything was okay and then I get this text:
Yeah, thank you.
NGL I felt a bit hurt and disrespected, after you went dismissive and all clueless about the dopamine inhibitor thing.
I was resonating strongly with your pain, because I went through similar pain, being understimulated and depressive.
Once you said you went to the GP and got a subscription and then when I asked you recently, you went blank and said "oh you mean the Zinc thing, right?", that's when I felt hurt because I was invested into helping you, bit then you sit on a fence, saying you don't want medication, while also you take antidepressants - just like me.
I just didn't understand the attitude of yours and that's when I didn't say anything. Because you want to have the trousers and want me to listen to you, while also being like this - but I didn't say anything, because I felt like you was pretty stressed and you wanted to focus on your health first.
I ended up feeling upset because I honestly feel like I have done something wrong, I always feel this way about myself a lot and tend to overthink simple situations for no reason which is something I am trying not to do as much. I more or less cried for nearly 2 hours and even now, I think about it and a part of me feels so useless for not thinking of the right things to say. I didn't really want to reply at first because a part of me was scared of making him more mad at me and then in the end I apologised for making him feel this way and mentioning that I am overwhelmed and need breathing room. I have decided to have a break from texting for a bit to process everything.
I just feel so down and am not sure what to say or do anymore. Sorry, I am not good at explaining things well.