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Worklife and ASD

QiraSoo

I, 36 and female, was recently diagnosed with ASD (as of Friday 25th September), and I’m currently trying to work out how to move forward with everyday life and particularly, getting back into work.

I’ve always sort of known that I was autistic, but my last job was really the final straw in hoping that people would eventually understand me better. I became so overwhelmed that, after just three weeks in the role, I literally packed up my things and walked out because the emotional pressure had become too much. It was a real breaking point for me and pushed me to finally pursue a diagnosis, partly because I desperately needed to understand this constant emotional rollercoaster of pressure, anxiety and overwhelm that I had been experiencing for so long.

I really do want to work, and I’ve been applying for jobs and trying to find something that will suit me and my needs. However, I’m finding the whole process quite overwhelming, and I’m not really sure how to approach returning to work in a way that doesn’t lead to burnout or shutdown.

I’ve now reached the final stage of an interview for a job, which you would think I’d be really pleased about, but instead I’ve almost immediately gone into what feels like shutdown mode. I’m struggling to process the fact that I might actually have to go through the interview and potentially start a job afterwards. My brain seems to have gone from “I really want to get back into work” to “I can’t do this”.

I’m trying to understand whether this is something other autistic people have experienced, particularly after reaching a point where getting a job starts to feel very real rather than just being an application on a screen.

So I suppose I’m looking for advice on:

How did you approach returning to work after diagnosis?
How did you manage the anxiety/overwhelm around interviews?
Has anyone else experienced shutdown when an opportunity became “real”?
How do you work out what type of workplace or role is actually suitable for you?
How can you tell the difference between “this is scary because it’s new” and “this environment genuinely isn’t going to be good for me”?
And how do you prevent yourself from immediately withdrawing when things become overwhelming?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar, particularly if you’ve managed to get back into work without completely burning yourself out.

Parents

  • Okay, I’m going to try and answer every question, but I can almost guarantee some of my answers are going to be unhelpful lol.

    1. My approach didn’t change significantly after getting a diagnosis, except that I was very willing to share my diagnosis with prospective employers. In retrospect, I probably should have been more careful about that, but fortunately the last few employers that have hired me have been very accomodating.

    2. This is one where I’m not very helpful, for I had the benefit of being in drama classes/performances as a child/teen. I’m used to putting on a performance. I suppose the best advice I can give is always tell yourself two things: A) If they turn you down, then you likely wouldn’t have liked working there to begin with and B) If they turn you down, there will be other opportunities.

    3. I have felt immense anxiety and dread over such a huge change such as starting a job, but I don’t think it would be fair to say I’ve ever shut down completely. So, almost?

    4. This takes a lot of time and self-analysis. My advice is to list what you cannot handle (ex. maybe loud environments or a strong focus on socializing) and what you are skilled at. Focus more on what you are skilled at, since if a job requires a few things you feel you cannot handle it is possible to work through it. However, if a job has a significant number of issues you have listed, it is probably best not to take it.

    5. Unfortunately, I feel as though that is a bit too personal for me to give a definitive answer. That distinction could mean something totally different for every person. However, your best hope of determining the difference is by telling trusted friends or a therapist how you are feeling. They could potentially help you figure out whether you are just worried about change in routine or if you are genuinely worried about the workplace culture.

    6. There are a few ways to help with overwhelm to prevent yourself from completely giving up on a job. A) When you get home, DO NOT think about work. That is vital. If you have a job where you are always on call (like me), good luck! B) Recognize that most issues are temporary, even at work. A therapist can help with this conceptualization. C) Take “mental health days” if your workplace allows it. Don’t abuse that privilege, but there may be days where you are more likely to damage your job by going in than taking a shift off. D) Get support. Of course, friends and family are great support, but for overwhelm at work it is even better to feel supported from supervisors and coworkers. Be humble enough to admit to your fellow workers that you need help.

    Hopefully there’s something here that can help you, lol!

  • in reply to profdanger

    Thank you so much for your help! This is very useful info I will definitely take on board :) 

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