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Self worth

B

Where do you think this comes from?

Background?

Education?

Wealth?

I suspect it's more subtle than these sorts of things, but I do note that people from certain backgrounds can appear much more self confident than others, and confidence can get you far in life.

I've lack confidence and a sense of self worth for much of my life but I do think that feedback has helped me and that has mainly been from being loved (always outside the family) and being told that my characteristics are appreciated.

There is also the question of life achievements/stages eg. degree, career, buying a home, marriage, having children.

If we don't 'achieve' these stages, I think that can unfairly affect our sense of self worth.

What do you think?

Parents

  • My step son was privately educated for some of his teen years and reckons its had a massively positive impact on him, he says you get confidence sort of built in when you're in an environment that says "you can" and tries to make that happen, rather than one thats always telling you can't.

    I don't really remember ever having a sense of self worth, but I remember the sense of feeling I should have one. I think for me it was years of therapy and all the spiritual work I did after that gave me any real sense of myself as having any worth.

    I think I find it hard as I don't have a sense of achievement, I just don't get the dopamine hit that others seem to when they do something new or well, I have a sense of having gotten away with it, flying under the radar unnoticed. Nor do I value things like wealth, and careers in the way others seem too, money is a tool to me, it gets me certain things, but stuff, for the sake of having stuff dosen't appeal either. I wouldn't want a big house, I'd just think of how much time it would take to clean and the upkeep and cost of heating. Why would I want more than one spare room for guests?

    I think the way others react to you has huge effects on how you feel about yourself, for me other did and often still do react negatively, I'm less bohtered about it now than I was, I just accept that I'm not going to get on with some, maybe the majority of people, that we have different value systems. I've had a lot of people tell me I need to value myself more over the years, but that usually means they think I should be more like them and the things that make them happy should make me happy too.

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  • My step son was privately educated for some of his teen years and reckons its had a massively positive impact on him, he says you get confidence sort of built in when you're in an environment that says "you can" and tries to make that happen, rather than one thats always telling you can't.

    I don't really remember ever having a sense of self worth, but I remember the sense of feeling I should have one. I think for me it was years of therapy and all the spiritual work I did after that gave me any real sense of myself as having any worth.

    I think I find it hard as I don't have a sense of achievement, I just don't get the dopamine hit that others seem to when they do something new or well, I have a sense of having gotten away with it, flying under the radar unnoticed. Nor do I value things like wealth, and careers in the way others seem too, money is a tool to me, it gets me certain things, but stuff, for the sake of having stuff dosen't appeal either. I wouldn't want a big house, I'd just think of how much time it would take to clean and the upkeep and cost of heating. Why would I want more than one spare room for guests?

    I think the way others react to you has huge effects on how you feel about yourself, for me other did and often still do react negatively, I'm less bohtered about it now than I was, I just accept that I'm not going to get on with some, maybe the majority of people, that we have different value systems. I've had a lot of people tell me I need to value myself more over the years, but that usually means they think I should be more like them and the things that make them happy should make me happy too.

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