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Self worth

B

Where do you think this comes from?

Background?

Education?

Wealth?

I suspect it's more subtle than these sorts of things, but I do note that people from certain backgrounds can appear much more self confident than others, and confidence can get you far in life.

I've lack confidence and a sense of self worth for much of my life but I do think that feedback has helped me and that has mainly been from being loved (always outside the family) and being told that my characteristics are appreciated.

There is also the question of life achievements/stages eg. degree, career, buying a home, marriage, having children.

If we don't 'achieve' these stages, I think that can unfairly affect our sense of self worth.

What do you think?

Parents

  • Confidence, as Alexa and others have mentioned, comes from positive childhood experiences and being unconditionally loved by a parent/s or carers. I think though that genes have a role in the formation of personality. Leaving autism aside for one moment, I think some people are born more outward looking, resilient and excited by life than others. Of course being autistic means that for we late diagnosed adults, it is probable expectations were placed on us that we couldn’t live up to - a recipe for low self esteem.

    Freedom from guilt following diagnosis gave me a boost, but I’m not a confident person, except in certain circumstances doing something like working with my dogs to train them or researching.

    Being here can be a confidence booster, but I think it’s too late to impact more deeply. I had a ghastly childhood, I was going to talk about it in your other thread, but I don’t have the energy or ability right now to make it a post on its own and to say more about it. I was also sent to boarding school and couldn’t cope there. It wasn’t a bad school but my life was utter misery. I xxxxx xxxx, ended up in hospital, saw an unsympathetic psychiatrist. I really don’t know how I’ve made it to where I am today. 

  • in reply to ArchaeC
    ArchaeC said:
    I think some people are born more outward looking, resilient and excited by life than others.

    My ex-partner's youngest daughter was a family psychiatrist working for a London borough. She told me one of the interesting areas of research in her field was childhood resiliance. That was years ago and I don't know what the latest is on that.

    ArchaeC said:
    I was also sent to boarding school and couldn’t cope there. It wasn’t a bad school but my life was utter misery.

    Hugs. people hugging

Reply
  • in reply to ArchaeC
    ArchaeC said:
    I think some people are born more outward looking, resilient and excited by life than others.

    My ex-partner's youngest daughter was a family psychiatrist working for a London borough. She told me one of the interesting areas of research in her field was childhood resiliance. That was years ago and I don't know what the latest is on that.

    ArchaeC said:
    I was also sent to boarding school and couldn’t cope there. It wasn’t a bad school but my life was utter misery.

    Hugs. people hugging

Children
  • in reply to Alexa

    Thanks Alexa.

    Alexa said:
    one of the interesting areas of research in her field was childhood resiliance

    Childhood resilience is a big topic in schools now. We didn’t have that back in the day. It was called ‘pull yourself together’. It would be interesting to know more about the research.

    I remember the old nature v. nurture debate in the press. It might have been thought to be around a 50% split between the influence of genes v. upbringing. I mightn’t have that correct and I don’t know what scientists would say now. I think I read somewhere that many aspects of our personality are fixed, but how much that influences self esteem I don’t know.