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Is this discrimination from my manager?

SylusDatura

Hi, for those who are knowledgeable on the subject. My manager was shouting at me because my dad didnt want to look after my son when its full day shifts. I have no other child care and he didn't want to do 4 days. (But now hes compromised and said he will look after my son 4 days if its not a full day and some are shifts are were I can take my son to nursery before work. When she was shouting at me i disclosed i was autistic, I didnt plan to tell her now and said I that my son is autistic. I told her when I was telling her I find work stressful too (didnt tell her she was a big reason why, that and the customer service scoring etc). To add she is moody, snappy, has a tone with me loads, its been like this for years. Shes mates with the other two staff. 

1. She kept having a go at me and she told me that i am hard work for two other members of staff because I'm quiet (im really quiet, dont know what to say, awkward, uncomfortable etc). Is that discrimination?

2. When she had calmed down she said why are you even in retail and that i should find somewhere different to work. She suggested greggs. I cant remember if that was because I said I was stressed. Is that discrimination after I disclosed im autistic also?

Thanks

Parents

  • I will need to be careful how I word this as we cannot offer legal advice which is kind of what you are asking for here, so please bear with me,

    1 - it is never acceptable for a manager to shout at an employee. If you have witnesses than this works in your favour in case you want to make an issue of it. 

    2 - Child care is not your employers responsibility to make accommodations for - if they do it is a favour to you and really it is your duty to make sure that there are other fallback plans available to you. In the real world it is obviously much less simple but these are the principles around it. 

    3 - if she says you are hard work then I would ask for her to detail how you can improve. Since you had not previously disclosed your autism then it may just have seemed you were not interested in working with others (potentially incapable or lazy in the eyes of the manager) so while their approach was unprofessional, the reasons for it are valid. I would consider taking time to ask the manager how you could improve and tell them their mentoring would be appreciated if they can spare the time.

    4 - Retail really is a hard place for most autists to work in so the manager concerns seem valid, but it is up to you to decide if you want to continue based on your experience and expectations of the role. The fact your manager understands that it is difficult can be considered a good thing as it means they have at least a basic understanding of the challenges you face.

    If you can get then to see you are puting in the effort by making backup childcare plans, are seeking ways to be more efficient at the job and asking them for input to do things the way they want then there is little more they can ask for really.

    All of this relies of your making a lot of effort so you have to think if this is both achievable and worth the cost to you emotionally.

    This is just my thoughts on the subject, not advice and please do with it what you will.

    Good luck

Reply

  • I will need to be careful how I word this as we cannot offer legal advice which is kind of what you are asking for here, so please bear with me,

    1 - it is never acceptable for a manager to shout at an employee. If you have witnesses than this works in your favour in case you want to make an issue of it. 

    2 - Child care is not your employers responsibility to make accommodations for - if they do it is a favour to you and really it is your duty to make sure that there are other fallback plans available to you. In the real world it is obviously much less simple but these are the principles around it. 

    3 - if she says you are hard work then I would ask for her to detail how you can improve. Since you had not previously disclosed your autism then it may just have seemed you were not interested in working with others (potentially incapable or lazy in the eyes of the manager) so while their approach was unprofessional, the reasons for it are valid. I would consider taking time to ask the manager how you could improve and tell them their mentoring would be appreciated if they can spare the time.

    4 - Retail really is a hard place for most autists to work in so the manager concerns seem valid, but it is up to you to decide if you want to continue based on your experience and expectations of the role. The fact your manager understands that it is difficult can be considered a good thing as it means they have at least a basic understanding of the challenges you face.

    If you can get then to see you are puting in the effort by making backup childcare plans, are seeking ways to be more efficient at the job and asking them for input to do things the way they want then there is little more they can ask for really.

    All of this relies of your making a lot of effort so you have to think if this is both achievable and worth the cost to you emotionally.

    This is just my thoughts on the subject, not advice and please do with it what you will.

    Good luck

Children
  • in reply to Iain

    Ok this made me feel worse. Not sure how right it is. But she never said i was lazy she meant i'm really quiet, thats why she said that i don't talk. I've always been really quiet, I've worked there 14 years almost. She's worked there 7 years i think 4 of those were running two shops.

    When you say she understands its difficult... the way she said it wasn't in that way at all, her tone and her face said different. I've been on the side of her tone, moodiness, snappiness, pettiness, rudeness to know how she is. Her mates, the two co-workers don't get that from her. The guy who left recently got it from her and a couple of others in previous years. I think both of them quit because of her. Less then a year ago she even shouted at him in the office, because he said something when she was speaking to him.