Meltdowns?

NAS18906 said:

In my experience, meltdowns or "red mist" incidents, like outraged reports, are the culmination of a longer period of stress. The intervention of the shop assistant was enough to push him over the edge but it might not have been enough on its own to preciptitate his outburst.

Your not wrong. In my example, I had my acknowledgement of the world dialed down to the slightest sliver; it was therefore, primarily, the command "Don't ignore me!" and its detriment to my coping stratedgies that elicted the hostile responce...

My son who just got diagnosed today doesn't particularly have many meltdowns (than usual toddler tantrums) or any particularly repeatative behaviour (eventhough the specialist team said his pacing & exploring around the assessment room was a bit repeatative)... he doesn't yet speak (than few occasional words) at 3 & has issues with eye contact & social interaction

You will find the cause of meltdown not immediately obvious, and may be a build up of stress from many factors, and the actual meltdown triggered by something slight or seeming unlikely as a cause.

Because of this people on the spectrum may be perceived as over sensitive or excessively fussy etc., merely because the apparent cause preceding a meltdown seems to observers as trivial.

Consequently someone less stressed, or having developed better stress management, may experience fewer meltdowns.

The potential is there. Several reasons have been advanced. More environmental stresses piling up.  A narrower bandwidth or carrying capacity for stress....or a bottleneck. Various types of sensory overload, eg complex noise, movement and smells in shops, supermarkets and shopping malls.

With a child, trying to identify long standing worries, unresolved hurts or confusions, may be helpful in reducing the amount of underlying stress.

Also if there are places where meltdowns occur more frequently, stop and try to analyse what might be causing this. People not affected by autism tend to be better at filtering out background. You might be used to noise in supermarkets, but for someone on the spectrum they can be very uncomfortable - refrigerator motors, air conditioning, people talking in the next aisle, through thin walls of grocery produce, ringing tills, lots of conversations coming from all directions.

ah right - thanks for clarifying.

We just saw the community health team as a starting point and they agree that he does show behaviours and indicators for autism.  Not sure how I feel even though I probably already knew.

"currently comfortable...?  (sorry, dont understand what that means outraged?)"

It was my interpretation of why your not seeing meltdown behaviour...because has not yet encountered sufficient stressors to cause meltdown. 

I shouldn't have essayed a sub-diagnosis...they have been losing viability and have been are no longer being issued by many NHS regions as they can cause the confusion of generalisation.

"I understood that speech delay isnt normally common with Aspergers - is that right?"

Its not wrong, but it is difficult to differentiate between cannot yet speak and could speak but isn't...which is more akin to social withdrawl...and not unknown in Aspergers...and with no stimming activity...

currently comfortable...?  (sorry, dont understand what that means outraged?)

I understood that speech delay isnt normally common with Aspergers - is that right?

The child described seems to me clearly on the spectrum, probably as an aspie, currently comfortable...

Hi recombinantsocks, yep totally possible but the feedback we are getting from all the professionals all points towards a diagnosis in some form.  hearing checked - all fine apparently. There are some behaviours that seem to be textbook like being non verbal, not seeming to understand instructions, lining things up, limited diet with occasional extreme reactions to food he doesnt like, lack of interaction with others and he tries to avoid eye contact - but then on the other hand, he isnt distant, no hand flapping or stimming, no meltdowns, no obvious sensory issues - I know those are all extreme traits but you get the jist.

Hi SproutsMa

Isn't it possible that your son doesn't have autism? Has his hearing been checked? Hearing problems can lead to isolation related behaviours that might appear similar to autism.

In my experience, meltdowns or "red mist" incidents, like outraged reports, are the culmination of a longer period of stress. The intervention of the shop assistant was enough to push him over the edge but it might not have been enough on its own to preciptitate his outburst.

Thanks Tlc - appreciate you sharing that.  I dont recognise that either in my boy but as I said maybe he will be different when he is older.

That sound awful to be treated that way outraged - I think I would have reacted the same as you!

I can share my experience if it helps.

Shutdowns happen to me when I have taken in too much sensory infomation and I can't process it all. Or if I am highly stressed or emotionally charged.

I become withdrawn, I don't/can't speak, I can't engage eye contact and I can't process any furthur information. I try to hide my eyes from light and find a quiet place (preferably dark). If I am home I hide under blankets on the bed and stay there as long as necessary.

Read the originating post on this thread:

http://community.autism.org.uk/discussions/general-discussions/general-chat/relationships

does this sound like the shutdown behaviour you are refering to?

Hi Outraged - sorry to read you were treated badly at asda.  I hope you're feeling better now.

SproutsMa - I've also read about "shutdowns", as opposed to "meltdowns".  Perhaps someone will post about them?

A member of asda staff was particularily rude..."Oi! We're closed!...Don't ignore me!...I wont let you pay for those items!"

I shouted "How dare you speak to me like that! I'll take your [expleetive] job!" and stormed towards customer service to complain.

I was intercepted by a supervisor...who was also rude...ordering me, several times in tones only really appropriate to law enforcement personel "put those things down!"... I tossed, underarm, the cola bottles to the floor at the supervisors feet and continued storming to customer service...the supervisor follows.

I demand the full name of both employees involved so far to target my complaint...they refuse...I demand employee numbers they claim not to have such. More staff arrive...standard mobbing tactics...addressing me constantly from different angles...making me turn my head all the time...never letting me engage one person...a younger male member of staff is glaring w clenched fists, trying to intimidate...they accuse me of having assaulted the original member of staff, by throwing the cola at her...I said "if I throw something at someone, I hit them"...they said "write that down hes making threats"..."and damaging our stock...call the police"

I scribble an inarticulate complaint in the book then go to leave...they try to escort me out with the supervisor on one shoulder and the aggressive male on the other...I stop..refuse to be marched like a prisoner...the aggressive male grabs at me...I throw him off...the manager is sent for...he takes me aside and asks for an explanation...dam his social superpowers...2 minuites later I find myself appologising to him for desturbing his staff

The incedent still fills me w rage...as a result of this and of increased social anxiety, I can no longer get my groceries from asda...have to pay more for a delivery service now... 

Do you mind me asking ahat triggered it Outraged? And what form did it take?

Untill a few days ago, i would have been able to tell you that i hadnt had one for years. Regrettably that would no longer be true... 

Thanks Crystal.  My son doesnt yet but I guess symptoms change over time and he is still very young.  I probably shouldnt speak too soon...

Yes, I think so, " in some form or another "