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Entering a total autistic shutdown after trauma triggers and routine shifts

BernadetteB

Hello everyone. I am a late-realised autistic adult (45), and I think my brain has just completely run out of processing power. After an intense summer of burnout, a massive trigger regarding past abuse, and a sudden shift in my daily routine yesterday, I had a grueling night of non-stop panic attacks and trauma flashbacks.This morning, I woke up in a total shutdown. I have completely lost my connection to the 'core of existence'—I have no interest in my usual special interests, my hobbies feel empty, and I feel an intense urge to radically isolate and detach myself from everyone just to survive. I am currently just trying to manage the bare minimum of physical survival.Does anyone else experience this total existential vacuum during a major autistic crash? How do you gently navigate your way back when your brain drops its power grid completely?

Parents

  • I had a severe burnout a few years ago and it was only time that saw me through it - and plenty of time alone. I have no tips to help and can only offer virtual hugs, if acceptable. people hugging

  • in reply to Alexa

    Thank you so much Alexa.  That's very helpful and appreciated :) I've retreated to my room with my galaxy light going and am immersing myself in my Horus Heresy novels.  I'll focus on letting time pass as well as taking it a bit at a time.  I did so many social events in the summer, expanding from isolation, but it took its toll.  Just when I'm needing a bit of retreat time, my sister, who does everything together with me like a unit, introduced a new variable which changed our routine after about 14 years of the same.  It's only small, but my autism just is freaking out massively!  It's silly but, very very hard.  I'm settling more today as I realise it's not a total threat to our entire lifestyle, but I have a history of trauma and abuse so am hardwired for abandonment panic, so I'm dealing with that.  Really appreciate the virtual hugs thank you! 

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  • in reply to Alexa

    Thank you so much Alexa.  That's very helpful and appreciated :) I've retreated to my room with my galaxy light going and am immersing myself in my Horus Heresy novels.  I'll focus on letting time pass as well as taking it a bit at a time.  I did so many social events in the summer, expanding from isolation, but it took its toll.  Just when I'm needing a bit of retreat time, my sister, who does everything together with me like a unit, introduced a new variable which changed our routine after about 14 years of the same.  It's only small, but my autism just is freaking out massively!  It's silly but, very very hard.  I'm settling more today as I realise it's not a total threat to our entire lifestyle, but I have a history of trauma and abuse so am hardwired for abandonment panic, so I'm dealing with that.  Really appreciate the virtual hugs thank you! 

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