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Does anyone else live with a hoarder?

Roy

As some of you know I live with my mother when I’m working away from home, I normally work for a month and then go home for two weeks.

My mothers house is becoming a worry, it’s quite a large property but the hoarding is causing me anxiety. I try to go upstairs but every step has junk on it, I’m also worried someone’s going to trip on the stairs. 
Spare bedrooms are full, every worktop and cupboard is full.

unworn new clothes hang everywhere, there must be 100 pairs of new shoes, garages and sheds are full of just things. Two chrome barstools were stacked in a shed last week because they were free at a fete.

I try to keep my annex quite minimalist but stuff is creeping in, a rocking chair was ordered last week,I’ve got to have the old unused armchair in my room, the previous two unused chairs are in other rooms with stuff on them.

We now have mice, I’ve caught 8 in the last week, I get little sleep as I find small rodents very overwhelming.

All my mother says is that when she’s gone I can get rid of it all, that on its own is overwhelming. 
I think my mother is autistic, is this hoarding a trait? 
sorry I’m really tired, more venting than anything.

Parents

  • Hi Roy

    Hoarding disorder is now an official mental illness. If you go to the afore-mentioned webpage they tell you how to get help, via your GP. You can report the vermin infestation to your local council.

    Fingers crossed, your mum can get help. It must be very hard for you as well.  Keep posting on here and reading other threads for social support. Best wishes and good luckCandle.

  • in reply to Marianne72

    Thanks for the link, some of it definitely applies. the problem is that outsiders aren’t allowed in.

    There is a large wardrobe in my room full of what she calls good linen. Most of it is older than me, I’ve explained that we don’t live in Upstairs & Downstairs, we don’t need it, nobody uses it anymore. No it’s too good to get rid of.

    I’m getting frustrated as I know winter is approaching, my mother will stay in bed most of the day, not with depression but so the heating isn’t used, She can easily afford it but refuses to give money to the “fat cats’ at the utility companies. I sit in my rooms with a calor gas heater. She will then say she wants to move, I then agree but she wouldn’t let people inside to view the property, I try to go through stuff but I’m not allowed to throw even broken things away.

    She has been “sectioned “ quite a few times through my childhood and adult life, I try to be understanding but within 10 minutes I’m getting annoyed.  She has always known how to control people.

  • in reply to Roy

    this will sound hard but it seems you need to distance yourself, for the sake of your own mental well being. Keep posting on here and reading the support. There is a lot of love on here and lots of people understand.

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