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Does anyone else live with a hoarder?

Roy

As some of you know I live with my mother when I’m working away from home, I normally work for a month and then go home for two weeks.

My mothers house is becoming a worry, it’s quite a large property but the hoarding is causing me anxiety. I try to go upstairs but every step has junk on it, I’m also worried someone’s going to trip on the stairs. 
Spare bedrooms are full, every worktop and cupboard is full.

unworn new clothes hang everywhere, there must be 100 pairs of new shoes, garages and sheds are full of just things. Two chrome barstools were stacked in a shed last week because they were free at a fete.

I try to keep my annex quite minimalist but stuff is creeping in, a rocking chair was ordered last week,I’ve got to have the old unused armchair in my room, the previous two unused chairs are in other rooms with stuff on them.

We now have mice, I’ve caught 8 in the last week, I get little sleep as I find small rodents very overwhelming.

All my mother says is that when she’s gone I can get rid of it all, that on its own is overwhelming. 
I think my mother is autistic, is this hoarding a trait? 
sorry I’m really tired, more venting than anything.

Parents

  • You vent away Roy, I have a similar but lesser problem with a friends stuff, he used to live with us and now has to be in a different place because of post surgical needs and increasing dementia. He's got stuff everywhere, I'm totally overwhelmed by it all, he's not here and yet he is, I don't know how much I can get rid of and how much I can't. If I could set light to his room and not damage the rest of the house I would.

    I think stuff is a security blanket for some, I'm not sure that its an autistic thing, but theres definately a mental health element to it.

    Would it be worth reaching out to social services? I know they do respond to hoarders and the fact that you've got mice, would be another signal to them that intervention's needed. 

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Thank you,  outsiders aren’t really allowed in the house, i have got a brother but he lives in “La La land “ and just thinks it’s funny. 

    You are right, it’s like they are there even when they aren’t.
    I would need large roll off skips to even make a difference but then there’s always guilt, that is often used against me. I come home in the evenings and watch The Professionals and Minder in total silence, I’ve never understood people who can talk whilst a program or film on,  she will sit down and start on about how useless the Prime Minister is, boat people and how Farage is the saviour of her generation. I just snap back that she’s hated the last 16 or so Prime Ministers.

    I do blame shopping channels, it’s so easy to order tat, some of it is marketed as comforting. I was supposed to work today but I’m too tired, when tired my brain just ‘races’ I end up pacing and stimming.. I know if a can’t regulate myself then burnout or shutdown is waiting to attack. She’s off abroad next week with a relative, I will get a whole week of solitude, I might even get a few boxes down to the dump, that always makes me feel better.

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Thank you,  outsiders aren’t really allowed in the house, i have got a brother but he lives in “La La land “ and just thinks it’s funny. 

    You are right, it’s like they are there even when they aren’t.
    I would need large roll off skips to even make a difference but then there’s always guilt, that is often used against me. I come home in the evenings and watch The Professionals and Minder in total silence, I’ve never understood people who can talk whilst a program or film on,  she will sit down and start on about how useless the Prime Minister is, boat people and how Farage is the saviour of her generation. I just snap back that she’s hated the last 16 or so Prime Ministers.

    I do blame shopping channels, it’s so easy to order tat, some of it is marketed as comforting. I was supposed to work today but I’m too tired, when tired my brain just ‘races’ I end up pacing and stimming.. I know if a can’t regulate myself then burnout or shutdown is waiting to attack. She’s off abroad next week with a relative, I will get a whole week of solitude, I might even get a few boxes down to the dump, that always makes me feel better.

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