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Struggling with my difficult Brother - I feel so low

M&M001

Hi all, 

I feel so lost and low, my brother has some undiagnosed mental health issues (psychosis) last year he smashed our kitchen broke. Tiles did extensive damage in the house. For a period of time he rented outside. He caused issues with them police were called last year.

My parents let him back in, now every few weeks he smashes things in the house. Spills things in the kitchen, smashes all the dishes cups. Swears at my parents, who are 60 plus, I don’t know what to do as I’m living with trauma. 

He blames, his job losses to my parents, he argues with everyone.

I can’t cope, I am having work problems where I am being bullied, I don’t know where to go, I asked Council, they said do a domestic abuse referral. I’ve only been recently diagnosed with autism.

Parents

  • Hi M&M001, 

    I am really sorry to hear about your brother and the stress this is having on you and your family, and the danger you are being put in. 

    I am going to give you the advice for domestic abuse in case you want to look into this. 

    To report a crime, serious incident or emergency that is happening now or about to happen: 

     

    • Call the police on 999 

     

    To report a crime that has already happened or is not an emergency. 

    • Telephone: 101 

     

    Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help from the NHS Domestic Abuse Helplines: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/ 

    The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) provides support for women experiencing domestic abuse. Open 24 hours per day, every day.  

    • Telephone: 0808 2000 247 

    You can find your local Victim Support service by searching online for ‘[geographical area/local police force] + ‘victim support’.   

    Secondly, whilst this is written for distressed behaviour in autistic individuals I wonder if the advice on social care may be of any help to you and your family: 

    If the distressed behaviour is presenting significant risks to the person or those around them, try to get specialist help to deal with the behaviour. Arrange an appointment with the GP to discuss the issue and to request referral to a behavioural specialist if appropriate. 

    I am also really sorry to hear you are being bullied at work and I would like to direct you to some resources in case they may be helpful for you: 

    Firstly, you can find our guide on dealing with bullying here: www.autism.org.uk/.../bullying 

    If you would like some confidential advice and support, you may call the National Bullying helpline on 0845 2255787 or visit their website: www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/  

    You may also find it helpful to read our guide on What can I do if I'm having trouble at work: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/employment/what-can-i-do-if-im-having-trouble-at-work 

    I hope something in here is helpful for you and you and your family are able to get the support you all need. 

    Best wishes, 

    Alice Mod

Reply

  • Hi M&M001, 

    I am really sorry to hear about your brother and the stress this is having on you and your family, and the danger you are being put in. 

    I am going to give you the advice for domestic abuse in case you want to look into this. 

    To report a crime, serious incident or emergency that is happening now or about to happen: 

     

    • Call the police on 999 

     

    To report a crime that has already happened or is not an emergency. 

    • Telephone: 101 

     

    Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help from the NHS Domestic Abuse Helplines: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/ 

    The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge) provides support for women experiencing domestic abuse. Open 24 hours per day, every day.  

    • Telephone: 0808 2000 247 

    You can find your local Victim Support service by searching online for ‘[geographical area/local police force] + ‘victim support’.   

    Secondly, whilst this is written for distressed behaviour in autistic individuals I wonder if the advice on social care may be of any help to you and your family: 

    If the distressed behaviour is presenting significant risks to the person or those around them, try to get specialist help to deal with the behaviour. Arrange an appointment with the GP to discuss the issue and to request referral to a behavioural specialist if appropriate. 

    I am also really sorry to hear you are being bullied at work and I would like to direct you to some resources in case they may be helpful for you: 

    Firstly, you can find our guide on dealing with bullying here: www.autism.org.uk/.../bullying 

    If you would like some confidential advice and support, you may call the National Bullying helpline on 0845 2255787 or visit their website: www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/  

    You may also find it helpful to read our guide on What can I do if I'm having trouble at work: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/employment/what-can-i-do-if-im-having-trouble-at-work 

    I hope something in here is helpful for you and you and your family are able to get the support you all need. 

    Best wishes, 

    Alice Mod

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