A couple of years ago, I had to undergo a procedure due to an auto-immune condition. It was actually a circumcision, which I had done privately. The procedure itself wasn’t a problem - once they tell you to count backwards from ten, the next thing you know it’s over, and you’re back in your room, heading home the same day. At first, so far so good, but losing a part of my body after over seventy years felt strange, and it became harder to cope as the pain grew unbearable. I had painkillers, but they didn’t help much, and I became anxious that I had an infection, so I returned to the hospital. They reassured me the operation was done properly, and things would settle in time. They didn’t.
I went to my local A&E several times and was told again the operation was fine, so it must be something else. Still, I couldn’t get used to the pain - or maybe it was extreme irritation - and I saw other doctors, who also reassured me that all looked normal. I was at my wits’ end, feeling no one could help or understand my suffering. I became so depressed and desperate that, ashamedly, I took an overdose and waited for something to happen. Nothing did, but I became so frightened that I called A&E. They treated me kindly and took me to the local hospital.
Once again, I explained to the attending doctor what was going on, and after an examination, he said everything seemed fine, no infection. The first place they took me immediately started to unsettle me - the surrounding noises made me feel trapped, and I even begged the nurse to let me go home, though of course, they couldn’t. Eventually, they moved me to a hospital ward with three other patients, and it did make me feel somewhat better, as I finally felt I was getting some real help.
The problem was that after they removed the drip, although I physically felt ok, the hospital noises began driving me up the wall. They were putting a plan together so when I was released there would be a care package in place. This seemed to go on and on and I was becoming increasingly upset about the environment and the noises. It was impossible getting to sleep at night because it was still quite noisy with nurses and doctors moving about and attending to other patients during the night, which I quite understand, but it just made the whole experience even more unbearable.
It got to the stage where I threatened to walk out unless they could come up with something there and then and was told maybe they could place me somewhere not so noisy, however, I was so upset by that stage I simply wanted to leave the hospital. I explained to them that continuing to remain in this environment was doing me psychological and physical harm, and I would be fine at home. So, they took me to the rest room and discussed with me what they had in mind. I then was able to leave and go home to a wonderfully quiet environment.
The reason I've gone into all of this is because after a routine visit to my GP, it was found I had an irregular heartbeat and was sent off to the local A&E.
Since then, it turns out I have an enlarged aorta plus heart failure which would be greatly improved by a pacemaker procedure.
The thing is that I don't mind the many tablets I have to take but the prospect of having to go into hospital again and especially having to stay there even for one night fills me with horror which is why I'm resisting going through with it. This has placed me under great stress and has actually given me a secondary problem of having pains in my back and side which, I'm convinced, is due to sustained stress and worrying about the future