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Works view of me has changed since assessment referral

Bartholomew

Hi, 

I’m looking to find out if this is something others have experienced. 


I met with an NHS psychologist earlier this year who recommended referring me for an assessment. Whilst I was aware that I related to traits after going through the process for my son, it was still quite a shock to me. Further internet sleuthing and the reaction of friends and family suggests it shouldn’t have been such a big shock. 

I spoke to my immediate manager at work about it, mostly as I was struggling with it mentally. Within a couple of weeks of telling them they began to use the phrase “I’m not sure you’re compatible with this role”. 

I’ve had my mental health struggles for many years and have been signed off work with mental health issues for some periods in the last couple of years which I now can see may have been more like some level of burnout. Never has this sentiment of compatibility been raised even during that period or on my return. I’ve been doing this type of job now for about 16 years. I’m considered good at it and have always received good feedback from managers. 

I can’t help but think that this is all related and the idea that they’ve decided this now simply because I’ve been referred for an assessment is difficult to deal with. If I could go back in time I’d have kept my mouth shut. 

is this similar to anything anyone else has dealt with? If so, how do you let it go and not let it become something that you become obsessed with that brings you down? 

Parents

  • I can understand this must feel very difficult. Have you asked your manager what is making them say you are not compatible. There are definitely better phrases to use and I would be upset by that too but I wonder if Iain's interpretation is correct and they think you are finding the job too much mentally.

    Personally, I would ask for a meeting with them. If that would be too much, you could email. I would ask what they mean and why it is coming up now. I would refer back to the positive feedback you've previously been given and ask what has changed. I would also ask for ways forward. It might be helpful to think before hand of reasonable adjustments that might help. If things are put in place then perhaps you'd be more able to cope mentally. If their answer is to do with autism then you are well within your rights to point out that you were also autistic when you were given positive feedback so it isn't suddenly a problem. I know this might sound difficult but I think if you aren't proactive about it you will continue to obsess and that will probably cause you to struggle more.

    Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck.

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  • I can understand this must feel very difficult. Have you asked your manager what is making them say you are not compatible. There are definitely better phrases to use and I would be upset by that too but I wonder if Iain's interpretation is correct and they think you are finding the job too much mentally.

    Personally, I would ask for a meeting with them. If that would be too much, you could email. I would ask what they mean and why it is coming up now. I would refer back to the positive feedback you've previously been given and ask what has changed. I would also ask for ways forward. It might be helpful to think before hand of reasonable adjustments that might help. If things are put in place then perhaps you'd be more able to cope mentally. If their answer is to do with autism then you are well within your rights to point out that you were also autistic when you were given positive feedback so it isn't suddenly a problem. I know this might sound difficult but I think if you aren't proactive about it you will continue to obsess and that will probably cause you to struggle more.

    Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck.

Children
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