I recently got my autistic diagnosis. What I suspected for the last few years is true; I'm autistic.
It has brought a feeling that I'm broken. My partner tells me I'm not broken, just different.
Yet I still feel broken.
I've been standing outside, peering in through the window, unable to join in and wondering why. I went through some of this before. When I was 18, I realised I'm gay. The "moon fell" for me that day and I've been down ever since. I did go out and meet other gay men and finally met my current partner of over twenty years.
I'm in my mid 60's and feel I should have been told this decades ago, except science hadn't caught up with reality back then.
It feels hard to adjust to.
All those times I've struggled to fit in with social situations, now I know why. I did learn a little from my first boyfriend who seemed to be able to chat up anyone. Yet, I never could read the hidden cues that the majority understand and I don't.
Argh.
I'll work through this. It might take me a while. I've worked through heavy stuff before.
