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Tea, but only if you're making!!

Literal_Joe

Conversation with two friends yesterday:-

When a person asks "would you like a cup of tea", the response is often "only if you're making". I find this ludicrous!!

Discussed with two NT friends (a couple), who explain that the responder doesn't want to 'put out' the asker. I say ... 'but that person has just asked if you want one, i.e they're happy to make you a cup'

Then they say that you might not want one, hence your response -I say ... Well if you don't want a tea, just say no!! 

They say - The person might just be being polite by asking if you want a cup of tea, and therefore the respondent is being polite in return, knowing that 

I find it all bonkers, stuff like this, makes no sense to me 

How about everyone else on here ??!!

Parents

  • The Mrs Doyle conundrum.

    How I have personally experienced this with various aunts and mainly female relatives. 

    Aunt: would you like a cup of tea?

    Me: no thank you (aunt thinks I'm being polite and I don't want to put her to any trouble)

    Aunt: go on have a cup of tea (reinforcing that it is no trouble for her)

    Me: really no thanks (I really don't want tea)

    From here I'm not sure if I really understand what's happening, I'm just guessing 

    Aunt: go on have a cup of tea ( I think she thinks that there is something wrong in my life that tea can fix)

    Me: really, no thanks (aunt beginning to take offence that maybe I think that her tea is not good tea) 

    Aunt: I will put one on for you (determined to show that she makes good tea)

    Me: really, don't I'm fine

    Aunt: makes tea anyway like some sort of drug pusher, she is not going to let an upstart like me ruin her tea ceremony

    Me: drinks tea and tells her it was a lovely cup of tea even though I much prefer coffee

Reply

  • The Mrs Doyle conundrum.

    How I have personally experienced this with various aunts and mainly female relatives. 

    Aunt: would you like a cup of tea?

    Me: no thank you (aunt thinks I'm being polite and I don't want to put her to any trouble)

    Aunt: go on have a cup of tea (reinforcing that it is no trouble for her)

    Me: really no thanks (I really don't want tea)

    From here I'm not sure if I really understand what's happening, I'm just guessing 

    Aunt: go on have a cup of tea ( I think she thinks that there is something wrong in my life that tea can fix)

    Me: really, no thanks (aunt beginning to take offence that maybe I think that her tea is not good tea) 

    Aunt: I will put one on for you (determined to show that she makes good tea)

    Me: really, don't I'm fine

    Aunt: makes tea anyway like some sort of drug pusher, she is not going to let an upstart like me ruin her tea ceremony

    Me: drinks tea and tells her it was a lovely cup of tea even though I much prefer coffee

Children