Hello second post. Just finding my way on the site.
Troubles with social workers continue. We seem to be at a stand off waiting for the next round from them. It is quite awful with no mental respite.
I also ask for advice from helplines and I am losing confidence in myself a lot. I have to talk to people, but I get a sense that those I ask for advice don’t take to me or wish to help me. I don’t get that response. It quickly feels combative. It is exhausting as I don’t know why. I almost have to placate to bring them back down. It happened today on a helpline and he became almost sarcastic and undermining I had to bring it down. I actually wanted to say, don’t be so mean. I was only asking for advice.
I then wonder if it is the autism within. I have long thought I was autistic because of Dad and my own experience, but having the actual diagnosis made has highlighted it more. Also the local mental health team highlighting it as a deviance or thing to be corrected or improved did not assist. I ponder if I say things too directly, or too certainly or too much. I seem to p..s people off. I can launch right in I suppose. Rather than help, they start taking me on. Does anyone else get that in life. It is wearying. Inside I am asking help me. Outside I often get quite abrasive responses I don’t feel others get.
I watched a video session a while back about older ladies diagnosed. One lady said she was so tired of social interaction being hard work she was not going to bother any more. Just could not be bothered any more. Sometimes I feel the same.
On a more hopeful note I wondered if anyone knew of meet ups in Liverpool or thereabouts. I would so like to try and meet people like me. I am not so very different I know, but I miss the connection I felt with my Dad and a sense of sameness. I find neurotypical very hard work.
