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Turning up on time to things

Alexa

When I've agreed to be somewhere, I feel I have to be there on time and can't cry off or be late except for emergencies.

My absolute nightmare is long-distance appointments. I have to catch a ferry next week and my ADHD wants to get there at the very last minute because there will be so much hanging around after registering arrival, but my autism wants me to leave plenty of time for the journey in case something goes wrong, so I'm anxious on the journey for fear something will.

How do you cope?

Parents

  • I am AuDHD too and it's a constant battle. My autism wants to be there at the exact right time and worries about being late. ADHD thinks I've got more time than I do and hates waiting around. I've got it wrong so many times before I also think I overcompensate sometimes and wildly overestimate how long I need and end up stupidly early. One thing I have found helps is make the start time 15 minutes earlier. That start time is my goal and I'll usually miss it and end up being closer to on time. I totally understand the anxiety - so many what ifs for the journey. Is there anything near by you could do? When I've had far away appointments I've aimed to get there early enough to get food first. Say it was a 2 o clock appointment. I'd aim to go to McDonald's first. If I get delayed, the worst case scenario is I go to the appointment hungry and get food after it. I've never had to get a ferry for an appointment though. If they don't run very often, I can see that raises the anxiety. 

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Grabbing a coffee or meal is a good idea and I might try it for other appointments. Unfortunately, ferry terminals only have vending machines. I'd have to find a car park in the nearest town and that won't work for me as it will add to anxiety.  

  • in reply to Alexa

    Is there anyone at the ferry terminal that you can sit? You could take yourself a packed lunch or a book or a puzzle or whatever you like to do. Then you can be early for your appointment without having to actually turn up early.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum
    Expecto_Patronum said:
    Is there anyone at the ferry terminal that you can sit?

    It's like an airport with everything airside, but you have to sit around in a bare room for 20 minutes or so until called to go through security. On the "seaside" (just made that up for the airside equivalent) there's a cafe, but no indication of when foot passengers will be called to the bus, which is always last minute as they board vehicles first. Maybe this time, I could try asking for some indication of when these things might happen.

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  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum
    Expecto_Patronum said:
    Is there anyone at the ferry terminal that you can sit?

    It's like an airport with everything airside, but you have to sit around in a bare room for 20 minutes or so until called to go through security. On the "seaside" (just made that up for the airside equivalent) there's a cafe, but no indication of when foot passengers will be called to the bus, which is always last minute as they board vehicles first. Maybe this time, I could try asking for some indication of when these things might happen.

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