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Is secrecy an autistic thing?

Acquiesce

I'm relatively new to this, and keep finding things about me that directly link to autism... I wonder: is secrecy an autism thing? 

I can be _really_ private - I could give loads of examples (but they're secret!), though a simple one would be that while I'd happily ask this question here, I wouldn't talk to my partner about it, or I deed want them to know I was typing this here, now, on the internet... I don't want them to know what I'm doing in that space at all come to think of it!

So is this also (another) trait? I've seen it in my work context with young autistics which is partly why I ask... it's funny what you pick up from younger, less filtered/masking autistics - I hadn't realised that I stim in certain situations until very recently, and that was something I' seen in much younger autistics. 

Parents

  • I guess I learnt early to hide myself because it was so much a part of me as adult that emotional intimacy (as opposed to physical) was beyond me in my long-term relationships. Perhaps I felt it invited rejection if my partners really knew how I felt about many things. I tend to approach things rationally and can't do the thing of unquestioning emotional support, which just increased my feeling of being a failure.

  • in reply to Alexa

    Thanks for sharing. The older I've got that's flipped for me - I can be emotionally intimate but find the physical much harder.

    I very much relate to what you are saying in terms of that failure feeling. I read something this morning about coming to terms with not feeling broken, just different that resonated in terms of trying to feel better about ourselves. I don't mind being different; I punish myself for failure... the former has to be more healthy. 

  • in reply to Acquiesce

    My best friend's autistic husband can do the emotional intimacy but not the physical. They have a very loving relationship. 

Reply Children
  • in reply to Alexa

    I hope that my partner would say the same too - I certainly love them very much. The fear is always that aspect is somehow holding them back. There's always fear around judgements here though - I'm trying hard to have less of that - and our relationship works and has done for a very long while now.