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Is secrecy an autistic thing?

Acquiesce

I'm relatively new to this, and keep finding things about me that directly link to autism... I wonder: is secrecy an autism thing? 

I can be _really_ private - I could give loads of examples (but they're secret!), though a simple one would be that while I'd happily ask this question here, I wouldn't talk to my partner about it, or I deed want them to know I was typing this here, now, on the internet... I don't want them to know what I'm doing in that space at all come to think of it!

So is this also (another) trait? I've seen it in my work context with young autistics which is partly why I ask... it's funny what you pick up from younger, less filtered/masking autistics - I hadn't realised that I stim in certain situations until very recently, and that was something I' seen in much younger autistics. 

Parents

  • I've taken the question from both sides (allistic, autistic).

    When I was a young adult, I started wondering why people would treat me as a psychologist and tell me everything they had in mind. Especially very private things.

    So I asked them. Apparently 1) I listen, 2) Suggest questions to explore their problem further, 3) I would never share what they said to me (sometimes against their will, where it was expected I would share it).

    Some of it may be just chance. But one other reason is that I believe sharing secrets creates social snowballs, just as lying does.  So it's much better to never share secrets.

    On the other hand, I don't share my own secrets, because most people are not like that, at all. It was hard initially, but I became used to it eventually, and even a need.

    For me it is also important to control my online traces to some extent as well.

  • in reply to emanningis

    I had that from a young age too, I think it's why I trained as a counsellor and was very good at it. I think one of the reasons why people can find us good to talk too, is that they get a reply thats maybe more anthropological than they'd get from most NT's. We're not in it, in the same way as NT's, we see and question all the social protocols, we ask why.

    '...social snowballs...' I like that term.

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  • in reply to emanningis

    I had that from a young age too, I think it's why I trained as a counsellor and was very good at it. I think one of the reasons why people can find us good to talk too, is that they get a reply thats maybe more anthropological than they'd get from most NT's. We're not in it, in the same way as NT's, we see and question all the social protocols, we ask why.

    '...social snowballs...' I like that term.

Children
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