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Exhaling your true self.

Roy

I’ve had family visit over the last few days, a comment was made that I seem to be “getting more autistic.” The usual mentions of, “you used to like that” and “you seem to have given up.”

My sister seems to understand, I describe autism and late diagnosis as trying to hold your breath for years, in the end, you can’t and have to exhale. The autistic you is then freed and let out. It’s similar to letting the genie out of the bottle but also not knowing what to do with it.

Does anyone else feel this.

Parents

  • Yes, I do. I often think now of the things I used to be able to do and wonder why everything is so much harder now. I think I had to put a lot of effort into doing things and now lack the energy. 

    Over the years I sensed difficulties growing, but managed to compensate. When I realised the reason I was able to relax. This was also made easier during the pandemic as I didn't have to make excuses for not socialising etc. I don't have close family left other than those I live with, so no one to compare with.

    However I am aware that I feel more autistic and I think that is because I haven't had to compensate. For me the greatest impact of this has been at work where I have been for many years. It is made a little easier because I work from home and no one has actually made comment. 

    It is a relief to have a reason and to do life to fit in with that. I have also found it helpful to communicate on here, as it is not easy discussing with most people who don't really understand.

Reply

  • Yes, I do. I often think now of the things I used to be able to do and wonder why everything is so much harder now. I think I had to put a lot of effort into doing things and now lack the energy. 

    Over the years I sensed difficulties growing, but managed to compensate. When I realised the reason I was able to relax. This was also made easier during the pandemic as I didn't have to make excuses for not socialising etc. I don't have close family left other than those I live with, so no one to compare with.

    However I am aware that I feel more autistic and I think that is because I haven't had to compensate. For me the greatest impact of this has been at work where I have been for many years. It is made a little easier because I work from home and no one has actually made comment. 

    It is a relief to have a reason and to do life to fit in with that. I have also found it helpful to communicate on here, as it is not easy discussing with most people who don't really understand.

Children
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