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Diagnosed at 26.

Geezamazinfella

Yesterday I received my official autism diagnosis. I am 26 years old.

I have no family. No friends. I spend most of my time boiling in this stew of trauma. All of which point to the abuse that my biological mother put me through.

I was also told by my GP last month that I am coeliac and allergic to milk.

A lot of the time I try to battle against this masking, which I have been used to doing for decades. It destroys me, piece by piece. It is so energy-leeching and it takes up a lot of my time.

I have good news too. I am healthy. Strong. Tough. Tenacious. I recognise my value and I treat myself with the highest level of self-respect.

I am very lonely and no one ever gives me a hug.

I suffer with nightmares, and the heat makes things worse.

This is all myself checking in with myself. A diary, if you like, that I am able to return to.

If anyone is out there, give me a sign.

  • Geezamazinfella said:
    I have no family. No friends
    Geezamazinfella said:
    I am very lonely and no one ever gives me a hug

    Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for us to feel lonely or isolated.

    Alongside hopefully enjoying chatting with us here, you might find some of the suggestions below helpful.

    You could consider asking your GP for a referral to your local social prescriber. Or just ask their admin team, who might be able to tell you how to self refer. A social prescriber’s (non-medical) role is to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your social, practical, and emotional needs. That could include, for example, helping you to find local groups or socialising activities that fit with your interests and other preferences.

    This article explains more about how the it works (it relates to England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

    NHS England - Social prescribing

    You might also find some of the advice in these articles helpful:

    NAS - Loneliness 

    NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

    You might also be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory, or through a local or online NAS branch:

    NAS - Autism Services Directory

    NAS - Branches (including online-only branches)

    As a final couple of suggestions, you could:

    • Search on Facebook and/or Google for any local or national groups that might fit with your interests and hobbies.
    • Perhaps find some online games you enjoy that also include a social element (perhaps they have an associated chat group, or a built-in ways to socialise - like chatting in the game itself).

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

    As for many others, my diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting, rather than a conclusion with instant solutions. I'd suggest taking extra care to be patient to, and kind with, yourself - and to take your time with processing everything.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

    Before arranging anything you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)