Hi guys,
I changed my username from Scentsibubble.
Anyway - just a few weeks after my diagnosis, not overly sure how I'm feeling. Maybe a little bit more separate from the neurotypical world.
I know lots of you also struggle with the extreme heat. I have just come back from going for my coffee and popped into the supermarket and Superdrug. In the heat people look like the old Spitting Image puppets. Everything super extreme, a bit trippy actually. Even with earplugs in, being in supermarkets at the weekend is an ordeal. I usually try not to do it. I am so easily startled and when someone walks past me quickly or a random person just appears behind me in my personal space - it really makes me jump and that makes me so irritable. When a small group of people - 2 or more walk towards me, I hold my breath, stop and look down while they pass. It was really hard being out there today. I know things feel more intense in the heat, but it is just like this for us. I don't know. It still makes me sad. I've come home, exhausted, irritable and spaced out - feeling like an alien still.
I know it's all about self acceptance and I'm pleased that I know I'm autistic. Just still don't know what that actually means for me. It will take time I know to find some groups and the right people. The neurotypical people I do know, (I don't know if I'd call them friends), I feel I don't really even want to know them - people say ignorant things if you choose to share with them that you've been diagnosed with autism and that really hurts, so I'm going to be careful who I tell from now on. Sad but true. Maybe I'm repeating myself and being negative.
Anyway, I am back home now and alone for the rest of the day which is great, as I'm really appreciating the silence. Going to force myself to eat something and try shake off the outside experience.
Wishing you all a good weekend. Be good to hear how you're all doing.
