Hi,
I am really not sure which is the right forum to post this on.
I have two parents, both undiagnosed. Both sides of the family have a history of mental health struggles and autism/ADHD. I am going through an emotionally tough time at the moment. My dad has severe autism. He lacks empathy and sometimes can have outbursts from time to time. My mum is becoming emotionally distant and cold nowadays. She only thinks about herself and is selfish. I was diagnosed with autism a few years back, not perfect but trying. They are mostly good parents with kind intentions. However, there are moments where they both verbally put me down and lack total empathy and understanding whenever I'm going through a tough time. They know I'm autistic, but they have lived in an era where mental health or awareness around neuro divergence was not around. They do not fully understand empathy and compassion towards my struggles. They think that shouting and arguing with me can be a solution to shut my feelings down all the time and tell me to calm down when they gaslight me constantly during disagreements.
Recently, I've had enough of endless discussions with my parents about applying for jobs. They are supportive to an extent, sometimes out of nowhere, my mum sometimes acts erratic and turns on me for no reason. I don't know what is causing this. She is nicer to my brother who is undiagnosed for ADHD and is successful in his line of work. She is on medication for a condition she's got, but she's becoming very unstable these days. Sometimes I cry in my room alone and sit in my room until they have calmed down. Out of everything, there is always a preference towards my brother because he is more established in life more than me. My brother is not autistic like myself and has a lot more privilege compared to my struggles. Sometimes I have emotional outbursts due to being overwhelmed, that's how I cope with things. I try my best to control it, but whenever my parents are gaslighting me for no reason, that's when it really hurts me the most. Gaslighting is quite common nowadays from my parents where they are extremely harsh and strict on me. But it is completely different treatment to my brother.
Any advice for me during these difficult times? Or can anyone else relate to me in any way? I hope I am not alone as my mum is not very sympathetic right now or emotionally supportive :( I know I'm a fully grown adult, but I still deserve my parents love.
